Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

Georgia’s hand trembled as she held the piece of paper between her fingers. She read it over and over again but the words didn’t change. It was a single plane ticket from JFK to Florence Airport in Italy. Tuscany. She had never been there but she knew it was absolutely beautiful. And did it really matter anyway?

 The date of departure was two days from now, an early morning flight on the 2^nd of July. A day after Jon was supposed to have surgery, she knew that because today was their last show of the first part of the European tour. In Dublin. He injured his knee on stage about two weeks ago and had to perform with a knee brace since. He had a week off from tomorrow on and that week started with surgery so he had the time to recover for the rest of the tour. She stared at the small note he also included. She recognised his handwriting.

“Let’s finally be together, love JB,” was all it said and it said it all.

Over the last month her foot had gotten a lot better. She did no longer need crutches and soon she started to overestimate herself. She had to learn the hard way why there was no way she could return to the ballet already again. She knew she would start therapy with the company physician in early August and that would probably not be a moment too soon, she had to admit that. The fact that she felt too good to stay at home but was not able to do too much at the same time was also slowly killing her. It resulted in her staying inside reading and looking out for phone calls from Jon. She missed him badly and only hearing his voice was comforting at first but stopped doing anything for her very soon after he left. For now it was the only option she had.

“Hi…” she said softly and Jon immediately seemed to know what was going on.  

“So you received your mail.”

“I received my mail,” she confirmed.

“Did you get anything special?” he asked and she sighed.

“Jon…”

“Alright, before you say anything , listen to me… I feel like you’re drifting away Georgia and that is not a good feeling, so I thought that maybe my week off would be the perfect opportunity to be together… to really be together you know, but I understand if you....”

“Jon will you shut the hell up, the only reason I called is to thank you. This last month has been horrible and when I read about your injury I felt so bad that I could not be there for you like you have been for me.”

“Wait so… you are saying you’re coming over?”

She smiled brightly to herself as she realised that was exactly what she was about to say. “Yes, I will meet you in Italy, but is it, you know, safe?”

“Yes, it is. We have the villa all to ourselves. Of course there will be staff around but I’ll make sure they will keep their mouths shut.”

“Alright I guess I’ll better hang up now, it seems like I’ve got some packing to do.”

“I’ll see you in two days baby,” he said.

“Two days…” she repeated while she let that fact sink in. “Thank you.”

“Yeah leave that for when you see me.”

In the next couple of hours she contacted everyone that needed to know she was going out of town for a week. She didn’t even have to lie about the destination, only about the reason why. But she was sure neither her parents, her friends or the ballet would ever find out. Nobody had a reason to doubt her anyway. Except for Charlie, so she told him the truth. And he was even more enthusiastic than she was. The others were just happy that she finally decided to do something other than sit around her house and be depressed.

She knew she would arrive late in the evening on the 2^nd and he had to go back to his tour on the 8^th so she would only be able to spend four whole days with him, but it was still better than another week without.

Georgia had flown first class before when she went to Russia and Amsterdam for workshops and internships at ballet companies over there but it didn’t make her like it more. Even though first class and business class sections in planes could easily make you forget you were flying, it didn’t change the fact that you were and she was afraid to fly. She never let it stop her, but it always did stop her from sleeping the night before. This time the reason why she would have to get on a plane didn't really help her to relax either. She was glad therefore that Charlie offered to come with her to the airport because he talked non-stop and almost managed to get her mind off things. Almost, because the main subject of conversation was Jon. Like it had been since the day he found out. Georgia didn’t really mind, as he was still the only one she could talk to about it, but when he got scarily detailed about her sexlife she remained silent and just let him talk. She laughed and ignored the longing for him that was slowly building up inside of her.

Charlie was long gone now and she sat alone in the luxury club lounge of JFK airport sipping from her mojito. She didn’t know if alcohol would help her relax, but neither would water. It was quiet in the lounge, except for a few businessmen that were working on their laptops and talking in their phones. Such a cliché, she thought, wondering how much of a cliché she had become herself. The pretty, young dancer on her way to meet up with her secret rock star lover. For… yes for what? She asked herself. A fuck? She hoped, knew, it was more than that. But would she had stayed at home even if it was just that? She was afraid of the honest answer. When he was still in the US, she did not see him every day, not even every week. But ever since he left for Europe it had become clearer to her that she really wanted, needed to be able to be with him. More than she was willing to admit to herself.

When she looked up she saw that one of the men in the room was looking at her. He lifted his glass and mouthed: "cheers." She just smiled and looked away. He was about Jon’s age but the difference was that he actually looked like he was and that – of course – he wasn’t Jon. And never would be. She checked her phone for the time and it told her she only had thirty more minutes to kill. She finished her drink and put the empty glass on the bar, dragging the attention of the man towards her again. When Georgia realised he got up from his chair and started to cross the room towards her, she quickly grabbed her bag and left the club to lock herself in the toilet. Ever since she met Jon she didn’t even want other men to show interest in her anymore. They all seemed so desperate, uninteresting – boring. She washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn’t put any make-up on and was wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized Pearl Jam tour shirt. A comfortable outfit because she hoped to sleep during the long flight. She packed a dress, a hairbrush and mascara in her hand luggage to put on right before they  would land in Italy in about eight hours. If you ever will, she added in her thoughts. She didn’t want to push her luck.  

Chapter 24

TWENTY-FOUR

In the week that followed Georgia had more people over at her place than in the last fifteen years all together. Yasmin and Charlie made sure that either of them would stop by every day to check on her and beside that company staff would come by unannounced for no particular reason and the doctor came to examine her twice. The last time he did he brought crutches and encouraged her to go out for a walk on a daily bases. Lodinski in the meantime was too busy at the company to prepare them for the summer season. The last weeks before the premiere were always the most chaotic, yet he made sure he called her every day and though that annoyed her she had to admit that he hadn’t been anything but good to her. And he dismissed all her attempts to change his mind about her taking the summer off before she even brought it up. “You better find yourself a new hobby for the summer Georgia because I don’t want to see you anywhere near Lincoln Center and that’s all I’m going to say about it.” She also learned that she actually only had two true friends, but they were better friends than she ever realised before. It surprised her though that Charlie turned out to be the one she had the best conversations with. That might not be completely fair to Yasmin because she didn’t know about the one thing that was most important in her life at that point, but still Charlie always managed to say the right things.

One night when they talked about Jon again Charlie called it relationship. She thought that was weird, she had never looked at it that way. She didn’t know much about love and successful relationships but she didn’t think this was what one looked like at all. “It’s not a relationship though, is it? I mean… I tried to ignore that I liked him, we fucked, I fell in love and now we are in the phase of getting to know each other. The order it all happened in is so fucked up that it can never become a relationship anyway.” Charlie sighed. “Then what is the right order? What makes a relationship? Going to a club to meet someone and go on a couple dates before you decided whether you even like them or not? That might work for some people but you know as well as I do that you're not like that. Who makes up the rules anyway? He keeps coming back to you, you keep letting him in, I’d say this is as close to a relationship you’ve ever been.” Georgia blinked. “That quite sounds like something Jon said to me as well.” “If the rock star says so, then I guess it must be true.” Georgia sighed. “But he’ll be off for Europe next week anyway.” “Is that already?!” “Yep…” “That sucks,” Charlie said and she could do nothing but agree. She feared the day he would leave, even though she would never admit it to Jon.

So it was true that all the attention was flattering, even for her, but the only thing that really mattered was that Jon kept his word. He came to her house twice, of which he even stayed the night once. It didn’t sound like much but she had learned already to treasure every minute they could spend together. When he left after spending the night he admitted to her that he didn’t know if he would see her again before he would be off to Europe but he also said he would try to come up with something. She could see that he really felt bad about leaving her behind and that meant more to her than his words. She didn’t expect much of it anyway. It was not like he could just postpone his trip to Europe a couple months even if he wanted to and Georgia couldn’t see another way for them to be together. A couple of days after she’d last seen him, just when she came back from the horrific task that going to the supermarket had become, he called her.

“I know what we’re gonna do, Georgia,” he said. He couldn’t even be bothered to greet her properly. Georgia dropped her bag on the kitchen counter and walked to the table. She had a feeling she needed to sit down to hear what he was about to say.

“Spill it,” she said not able to hide her curiosity.

“I’m going to find you a job on tour,” he simply said. Georgia was silent for a few seconds, then she laughed. “You got to be kidding me,” she said. “What? No I’m not.” She could hear the surprise in his voice but what did he expect? That she would drop to her knees and thank him for the opportunity?

“I’m a ballerina, sure i'm an injured one who was forced to stay at home but that doesn't mean you can just decide to give me a job. One you still have to create, even."

“But it would be perfect for us to be together,” he said, disappointed.

“Oh yeah, and what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. She chuckled, not at all amused. “I could set you up with a job at the Fanclub,” he suggested.

“Brilliant,” she said, “but no thank you.”

“Stylist? You seem to be into fashion…”

“Does that mean I have to dress you? I think I’ve proven to be better at undressing…”

“Jesus Christ George, what do you want then?!” he said losing his temper. Patient and understanding as always.

“What I want from you?” she said as she stood up. No longer able to sit still. “I want for you to take me a bit more serious. I can’t believe you thought I would actually let you give me a non-existing job on your tour so you would have me around in case you’d need a fuck.”

“You know it’s not like that,” he said and she could just picture him pulling a hand through his hair. “But I guess this means you’re not gonna do it.”

“No, Jon,” she said slowly and loudly. “I’m not gonna do it and I’m sure there are easier ways for you to satisfy your needs.”

He sighed. “But I need you, not just for that, I need you around. The thought that I can’t see you for another two months kills me.”

“We’re just gonna have to live with it,” she said but she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even the thought of him going all the way to Europe for so long killed her but she wasn’t giving in to it. This time she promised herself not to lose her dignity. She was stronger than that. She wouldn’t just give up her life or what was left of it to follow him around for no reason other than to get a few hours of his time a day, if she was lucky. Because she didn’t expect he would have much free time to spend with her anyway.

“Great,” he said.

“No, not really,” she admitted.

“No, alright…" he sighed. "bye.”

“Bye Jon.” She put the phone down and tossed it on the dining table. The rest of the day had to wait. She needed a shower, she needed to wash away another bad idea, another fight and another disappointment.

Chapter 23

TWENTY-THREE

A little before noon Jon finally managed to drag himself out of the bed and into his clothes. Reluctant, still, but he knew he had to go back home. He was sure Dorothea didn’t suspect anything but if this would happen again she might start to and he couldn’t permit that. He tried to take as much time as he could while getting dressed, until even Georgia, who was observing him from the bed, laughed at him.

“You know, if you are trying to seduce me you are doing it the wrong way around, you’re putting your clothes ón, I don’t think it really works that way…”

When he looked at her over his shoulder he pulled a face at her but chose to ignore her comment.

About five minutes later she followed him to the hallway, even though he tried to convince her to stay in bed. In the hallway he noticed a big black and white portrait that he hadn’t seen when he came in the day before. He walked towards it to give it a closer look. It was a picture of a young girl, unmistakably a very young Georgia, with a messy long blond ponytail. She wore a leotard and sat on the floor with a perfect straight back. She looked up at something or someone that wasn’t in the picture and the look in her eyes was hopeful and compassionate. They already showed the drive that told you she was going to be big.

“That was before I came to New York, I was only five years old… I don’t think I ever even had a chance on becoming something other than a ballerina,” Georgia said as she came standing beside him and hooked her arm through his to lean on him.

“Does it run in the family?” he said and looked down at her from beside.

“My mother came over from Italy for an internship at the NYC ballet when she was seventeen, they scouted her, she was really talented. Not long after she arrived she met my father in Jersey and they fell in love. She retired at the age of 25 when she was pregnant with me.”

“Where are they now?” he asked, careful because he didn’t want to ruin any moment when she opened up to him.

“Italy. They bought a house at Lake Garda a couple of years ago. My mother always wanted to go back to Italy but my career kept them here for a very long time and after I was long gone I think it was fear, more than anything. But when I went over and told them to go on with it because they had already given up so much for me, it all went really fast. And I’m happy for them,  they are living the dream over there.”

He laid his hand down over hers on his arm for a second and then he pulled her closer for a kiss. She tasted like mint tea and her sweet self. He looked in her light brown eyes and they stared back. Hopeful and still a little hazy from when they had sex earlier. He took her face in his hands and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

“By the way,” he said, “when I told you not to call me I didn’t mean: “don’t call me not even when you are hospitalized. I had to read about you in the goddamn papers…”

“At least I was important enough for the papers to write about, and I hope you don’t think I actually listen to you when you tell me what I can and can’t do…”

He chuckled. “No shit.”

She wrapped his arms loosely around his neck and laced her fingers. “Thank you for coming to see me though, I really enjoyed it… I…. missed you.”

He kissed her before he let her continue.

“I hope that this time we will manage to see each other two times in a row without having a fight in between though, wouldn’t that be nice?”

Jon sighed and tucked a string of hair behind her ear.

“I admit that maybe I shouldn’t have told Charlie” she continued, “but I can’t say I regret it. I’m only human Jon, I screw up, and yes I’ll be the first to admit, I probably screw up a little more than is average but I think you knew that when you said what you did in the car after that dinner…”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry okay. I know I was being a dick but all this still scares the shit out of me and that’s not easy for me to admit.”

“It’s okay, I never even thought that something was worth fighting over before anyway so that means we must be doing something right…”

“We are doing a lot of things right George…” he said and smiled before he closed the gap between them for another kiss.

They stayed in the hallway for a proper kiss goodbye a couple more minutes but then Jon really had to go. He promised her he would be back soon. May and the remainder of his American tour were around the corner before he would head to Europe in June but Georgia found herself hoping that before all that he would indeed find an opportunity to stop by again. Because even though it was the first time she let any man stay the night in her bed, allowed him in to her kitchen, her bath and for him to look through her cd’s, books and cabinets, it had felt so good. So safe.

There was no time to reminisce though because only minutes after Jon had left Charlie appeared. 

“Well hello there, red cheeks,” he said and leaned in to plant a kiss on each of them. “According to that flush and the haze in your eyes that really wás Jon Bon Jovi I ran in to in the hallway and I think he gave you the kind of wake-up call my chocolate donuts nor my hazelnut coffee won’t ever live up to…” he said as he raised the brown paper bag he held in one of his hands.

“But also the kind of wake-up call that left me dying for one of your chocolate donuts and a hazelnut coffee,” she said as she hopped to the couch and fell down on it. Now Jon was no longer in it, the urge to go back to bed wasn’t as strong as it had been. 

Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

“I really need a shower,” Georgia suddenly announced. It was now morning and they had lied awake for over an hour. She rested her head on the arm he put around her and he caressed her hair gently. “You should be glad I’m here because you would have never managed on your own,” he said and she looked offended. “I’m doing perfectly fine on my own!”

He pulled his arm away from underneath her and rose from the bed.

“Stay right here,” he said and bend over to press a kiss on her lips. “You don’t have to be afraid that I’m running away from you…” she said and lifted her pained ankle to remind him.

He chuckled and turned around in the doorway before he disappeared. “And that is so nice for a change baby.”

When he came back he had stripped down to his boxers and he scooped her in his arms. She yelled that he had to put her down but he refused. He only wrapped his arms tighter around her and buried his nose in her hair for a second. He was pleased to notice she gave up quickly. When they arrived in the bathroom she saw he was filling up the bathtub. He put her down carefully so she could take off her clothes and he helped her climb over the edge of the tub. She moaned as she lowered herself in to the hot water and he came sitting right behind her.

“This is so good,” she whispered as he put his legs around her and she rested her back against his chest.

They sat like that and she played with his hands that rested on her upper legs. Then out of nowhere she started to talk. “Are you into poetry? I always adored Oscar Wilde,” she said. “When I was a kid I made everybody believe we were related. Most kids didn’t even know who he was, I mean… they would make up stories about some boyband member being their nephew but Oscar Wilde was the man for me...”

He laughed.  He rested his chin on top of her head and listened as she continued and told him more about the childhood she had before she really started to work on her career at the still incredible young age of nine. It made him wonder how she could be so exceptional, even at the age of six. Most kids that age, beside the very fortunate ones, didn’t know anything about poetry. And now Georgia told him she asked her mum to read her poetry before she went to sleep at night.

When she was done talking about her childhood she asked him about his own and after that the conversation continued. A comfortable conversation about everything. He discovered immediately after he met her that he found it really interesting to have conversations with her about life and art and music and even the news. Although most of the time she had no idea what was really going on with the world. Unlike with other people though it  never annoyed him that he had to update her on things like the news all the time. Even though she didn’t even care for most of it.

“It frustrates me that people are supposed to have an opinion about everything all the time. I can’t have an opinion about everything right? Nobody can, because nobody is interested in every single damn thing that happens in the world.”

Jon drew a line across her stomach and slid his hands upwards to cup her breasts. She tilted her head back to look at him and he kissed her. “More people should be like you Georgia…” he whispered. “I don’t think that is a very good idea…” she said sounding serious and he laughed softly. “Not for my heart it won’t,” he whispered, more to himself than to her. After that they lied in silence until their skins were all wrinkled and the soap was gone. She raised a hand to examine it and laughed. He smiled into her hair.

“You know…” he said, “if it wasn’t for your damn ankle I would have fucked you right here…” She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. “If it wasn’t for my damn ankle we wouldn’t be here in the first place,” she said. “Then maybe that is the only good thing about this…” he replied. He lifted himself out of the water then and stepped on the tiles. “Can you stand up without using your foot?”

She looked up at him. “I’m a ballerina, what do you think?”

When she lifted herself on one foot using her arms she made it look incredibly easy. She pulled a satisfied face at him. “Like I said, I can manage on my own…” He helped her get out of the bath and wrapped her up in a robe before he quickly dried himself with a towel. Then he scooped her in his arms again and he led her back to the bed. The fact that she no longer made comments about her being able to walk by herself told him she still had to be in more pain than she’d ever admit to him.

When he put her down on the edge of the bed her robe fell open and she pushed it off her shoulders and let herself fall back in the cushions on the bed. Before he climbed on it as well he took a moment to look at her. Her body was all rose and glowy from the long bath they took and her ankle was still a disturbing mixture of purple and blue. Her face was all fresh and clean and natural, without any make up. The look of an angel, but he knew better. He moved himself between her legs and buried his nose in her neck. She smelled after soap and her skin was so soft. She pulled him down for a kiss and he enveloped her lower lip between his before he slid his tongue inside. After a while she wrapped her left leg around his waist to pull him down and he sank into her. He took it slow and tried to be careful because he didn’t want to hurt her. She always seemed fragile under his touch but now she was hurt it only triggered his urge to protect her. As he thought about that he smiled into the kiss because she would kill him if she knew what he was thinking at that moment.

When he pulled his mouth away from hers for a second to look at her beautiful face beneath him she immediately lifted her head off the pillows to reach for his mouth again. She needed to taste him as much as she wanted to feel him inside of her. She wanted every inch of him because she knew that soon, too soon he would be gone again. She moaned into his mouth as he continued to move in and out, slowly and careful, for the first time.

They kissed until Georgia pushed her head back in the pillows and closed her eyes. He followed the lines of her full parted lips with his fingers and as she arched her back and pushed her hips up to meet his he grabbed them tight.

“Open your eyes,” he panted, his voice husky. She did what he asked her and looked right in his bright blue eyes as her orgasm build before it exploded.

“Oh my God, Jon…” she panted. Jon groaned as he then came inside her and she trembled beneath him, wrapping her arms and one leg around him to keep him right there. He carefully rolled over to his back so she landed on top of him. He was still inside her and she didn’t move. They just laid like that for a while and combed her hair with his fingers. It was moist from sweat and soapy water.  

“You’re so beautiful Georgia…” he whispered.

She lifted her head to look at him, she wanted to make a joke about it, tell him he was quite alright himself, say something – anything, but she didn’t. Because she knew that this was the first time he said it to her. And she knew that the words meant the same as those three other words, that he couldn’t or wouldn’t say. Not yet anyway. She rested her chin on his chest and ran her fingers through his wet hair before she softly pressed  her hands against his cheeks.

“Thank you for not leaving me…” she said.