Chapter 24

TWENTY-FOUR

In the week that followed Georgia had more people over at her place than in the last fifteen years all together. Yasmin and Charlie made sure that either of them would stop by every day to check on her and beside that company staff would come by unannounced for no particular reason and the doctor came to examine her twice. The last time he did he brought crutches and encouraged her to go out for a walk on a daily bases. Lodinski in the meantime was too busy at the company to prepare them for the summer season. The last weeks before the premiere were always the most chaotic, yet he made sure he called her every day and though that annoyed her she had to admit that he hadn’t been anything but good to her. And he dismissed all her attempts to change his mind about her taking the summer off before she even brought it up. “You better find yourself a new hobby for the summer Georgia because I don’t want to see you anywhere near Lincoln Center and that’s all I’m going to say about it.” She also learned that she actually only had two true friends, but they were better friends than she ever realised before. It surprised her though that Charlie turned out to be the one she had the best conversations with. That might not be completely fair to Yasmin because she didn’t know about the one thing that was most important in her life at that point, but still Charlie always managed to say the right things.

One night when they talked about Jon again Charlie called it relationship. She thought that was weird, she had never looked at it that way. She didn’t know much about love and successful relationships but she didn’t think this was what one looked like at all. “It’s not a relationship though, is it? I mean… I tried to ignore that I liked him, we fucked, I fell in love and now we are in the phase of getting to know each other. The order it all happened in is so fucked up that it can never become a relationship anyway.” Charlie sighed. “Then what is the right order? What makes a relationship? Going to a club to meet someone and go on a couple dates before you decided whether you even like them or not? That might work for some people but you know as well as I do that you're not like that. Who makes up the rules anyway? He keeps coming back to you, you keep letting him in, I’d say this is as close to a relationship you’ve ever been.” Georgia blinked. “That quite sounds like something Jon said to me as well.” “If the rock star says so, then I guess it must be true.” Georgia sighed. “But he’ll be off for Europe next week anyway.” “Is that already?!” “Yep…” “That sucks,” Charlie said and she could do nothing but agree. She feared the day he would leave, even though she would never admit it to Jon.

So it was true that all the attention was flattering, even for her, but the only thing that really mattered was that Jon kept his word. He came to her house twice, of which he even stayed the night once. It didn’t sound like much but she had learned already to treasure every minute they could spend together. When he left after spending the night he admitted to her that he didn’t know if he would see her again before he would be off to Europe but he also said he would try to come up with something. She could see that he really felt bad about leaving her behind and that meant more to her than his words. She didn’t expect much of it anyway. It was not like he could just postpone his trip to Europe a couple months even if he wanted to and Georgia couldn’t see another way for them to be together. A couple of days after she’d last seen him, just when she came back from the horrific task that going to the supermarket had become, he called her.

“I know what we’re gonna do, Georgia,” he said. He couldn’t even be bothered to greet her properly. Georgia dropped her bag on the kitchen counter and walked to the table. She had a feeling she needed to sit down to hear what he was about to say.

“Spill it,” she said not able to hide her curiosity.

“I’m going to find you a job on tour,” he simply said. Georgia was silent for a few seconds, then she laughed. “You got to be kidding me,” she said. “What? No I’m not.” She could hear the surprise in his voice but what did he expect? That she would drop to her knees and thank him for the opportunity?

“I’m a ballerina, sure i'm an injured one who was forced to stay at home but that doesn't mean you can just decide to give me a job. One you still have to create, even."

“But it would be perfect for us to be together,” he said, disappointed.

“Oh yeah, and what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. She chuckled, not at all amused. “I could set you up with a job at the Fanclub,” he suggested.

“Brilliant,” she said, “but no thank you.”

“Stylist? You seem to be into fashion…”

“Does that mean I have to dress you? I think I’ve proven to be better at undressing…”

“Jesus Christ George, what do you want then?!” he said losing his temper. Patient and understanding as always.

“What I want from you?” she said as she stood up. No longer able to sit still. “I want for you to take me a bit more serious. I can’t believe you thought I would actually let you give me a non-existing job on your tour so you would have me around in case you’d need a fuck.”

“You know it’s not like that,” he said and she could just picture him pulling a hand through his hair. “But I guess this means you’re not gonna do it.”

“No, Jon,” she said slowly and loudly. “I’m not gonna do it and I’m sure there are easier ways for you to satisfy your needs.”

He sighed. “But I need you, not just for that, I need you around. The thought that I can’t see you for another two months kills me.”

“We’re just gonna have to live with it,” she said but she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even the thought of him going all the way to Europe for so long killed her but she wasn’t giving in to it. This time she promised herself not to lose her dignity. She was stronger than that. She wouldn’t just give up her life or what was left of it to follow him around for no reason other than to get a few hours of his time a day, if she was lucky. Because she didn’t expect he would have much free time to spend with her anyway.

“Great,” he said.

“No, not really,” she admitted.

“No, alright…" he sighed. "bye.”

“Bye Jon.” She put the phone down and tossed it on the dining table. The rest of the day had to wait. She needed a shower, she needed to wash away another bad idea, another fight and another disappointment.

Chapter 23

TWENTY-THREE

A little before noon Jon finally managed to drag himself out of the bed and into his clothes. Reluctant, still, but he knew he had to go back home. He was sure Dorothea didn’t suspect anything but if this would happen again she might start to and he couldn’t permit that. He tried to take as much time as he could while getting dressed, until even Georgia, who was observing him from the bed, laughed at him.

“You know, if you are trying to seduce me you are doing it the wrong way around, you’re putting your clothes ón, I don’t think it really works that way…”

When he looked at her over his shoulder he pulled a face at her but chose to ignore her comment.

About five minutes later she followed him to the hallway, even though he tried to convince her to stay in bed. In the hallway he noticed a big black and white portrait that he hadn’t seen when he came in the day before. He walked towards it to give it a closer look. It was a picture of a young girl, unmistakably a very young Georgia, with a messy long blond ponytail. She wore a leotard and sat on the floor with a perfect straight back. She looked up at something or someone that wasn’t in the picture and the look in her eyes was hopeful and compassionate. They already showed the drive that told you she was going to be big.

“That was before I came to New York, I was only five years old… I don’t think I ever even had a chance on becoming something other than a ballerina,” Georgia said as she came standing beside him and hooked her arm through his to lean on him.

“Does it run in the family?” he said and looked down at her from beside.

“My mother came over from Italy for an internship at the NYC ballet when she was seventeen, they scouted her, she was really talented. Not long after she arrived she met my father in Jersey and they fell in love. She retired at the age of 25 when she was pregnant with me.”

“Where are they now?” he asked, careful because he didn’t want to ruin any moment when she opened up to him.

“Italy. They bought a house at Lake Garda a couple of years ago. My mother always wanted to go back to Italy but my career kept them here for a very long time and after I was long gone I think it was fear, more than anything. But when I went over and told them to go on with it because they had already given up so much for me, it all went really fast. And I’m happy for them,  they are living the dream over there.”

He laid his hand down over hers on his arm for a second and then he pulled her closer for a kiss. She tasted like mint tea and her sweet self. He looked in her light brown eyes and they stared back. Hopeful and still a little hazy from when they had sex earlier. He took her face in his hands and caressed her cheeks with his thumbs.

“By the way,” he said, “when I told you not to call me I didn’t mean: “don’t call me not even when you are hospitalized. I had to read about you in the goddamn papers…”

“At least I was important enough for the papers to write about, and I hope you don’t think I actually listen to you when you tell me what I can and can’t do…”

He chuckled. “No shit.”

She wrapped his arms loosely around his neck and laced her fingers. “Thank you for coming to see me though, I really enjoyed it… I…. missed you.”

He kissed her before he let her continue.

“I hope that this time we will manage to see each other two times in a row without having a fight in between though, wouldn’t that be nice?”

Jon sighed and tucked a string of hair behind her ear.

“I admit that maybe I shouldn’t have told Charlie” she continued, “but I can’t say I regret it. I’m only human Jon, I screw up, and yes I’ll be the first to admit, I probably screw up a little more than is average but I think you knew that when you said what you did in the car after that dinner…”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry okay. I know I was being a dick but all this still scares the shit out of me and that’s not easy for me to admit.”

“It’s okay, I never even thought that something was worth fighting over before anyway so that means we must be doing something right…”

“We are doing a lot of things right George…” he said and smiled before he closed the gap between them for another kiss.

They stayed in the hallway for a proper kiss goodbye a couple more minutes but then Jon really had to go. He promised her he would be back soon. May and the remainder of his American tour were around the corner before he would head to Europe in June but Georgia found herself hoping that before all that he would indeed find an opportunity to stop by again. Because even though it was the first time she let any man stay the night in her bed, allowed him in to her kitchen, her bath and for him to look through her cd’s, books and cabinets, it had felt so good. So safe.

There was no time to reminisce though because only minutes after Jon had left Charlie appeared. 

“Well hello there, red cheeks,” he said and leaned in to plant a kiss on each of them. “According to that flush and the haze in your eyes that really wás Jon Bon Jovi I ran in to in the hallway and I think he gave you the kind of wake-up call my chocolate donuts nor my hazelnut coffee won’t ever live up to…” he said as he raised the brown paper bag he held in one of his hands.

“But also the kind of wake-up call that left me dying for one of your chocolate donuts and a hazelnut coffee,” she said as she hopped to the couch and fell down on it. Now Jon was no longer in it, the urge to go back to bed wasn’t as strong as it had been. 

Chapter 22

TWENTY-TWO

“I really need a shower,” Georgia suddenly announced. It was now morning and they had lied awake for over an hour. She rested her head on the arm he put around her and he caressed her hair gently. “You should be glad I’m here because you would have never managed on your own,” he said and she looked offended. “I’m doing perfectly fine on my own!”

He pulled his arm away from underneath her and rose from the bed.

“Stay right here,” he said and bend over to press a kiss on her lips. “You don’t have to be afraid that I’m running away from you…” she said and lifted her pained ankle to remind him.

He chuckled and turned around in the doorway before he disappeared. “And that is so nice for a change baby.”

When he came back he had stripped down to his boxers and he scooped her in his arms. She yelled that he had to put her down but he refused. He only wrapped his arms tighter around her and buried his nose in her hair for a second. He was pleased to notice she gave up quickly. When they arrived in the bathroom she saw he was filling up the bathtub. He put her down carefully so she could take off her clothes and he helped her climb over the edge of the tub. She moaned as she lowered herself in to the hot water and he came sitting right behind her.

“This is so good,” she whispered as he put his legs around her and she rested her back against his chest.

They sat like that and she played with his hands that rested on her upper legs. Then out of nowhere she started to talk. “Are you into poetry? I always adored Oscar Wilde,” she said. “When I was a kid I made everybody believe we were related. Most kids didn’t even know who he was, I mean… they would make up stories about some boyband member being their nephew but Oscar Wilde was the man for me...”

He laughed.  He rested his chin on top of her head and listened as she continued and told him more about the childhood she had before she really started to work on her career at the still incredible young age of nine. It made him wonder how she could be so exceptional, even at the age of six. Most kids that age, beside the very fortunate ones, didn’t know anything about poetry. And now Georgia told him she asked her mum to read her poetry before she went to sleep at night.

When she was done talking about her childhood she asked him about his own and after that the conversation continued. A comfortable conversation about everything. He discovered immediately after he met her that he found it really interesting to have conversations with her about life and art and music and even the news. Although most of the time she had no idea what was really going on with the world. Unlike with other people though it  never annoyed him that he had to update her on things like the news all the time. Even though she didn’t even care for most of it.

“It frustrates me that people are supposed to have an opinion about everything all the time. I can’t have an opinion about everything right? Nobody can, because nobody is interested in every single damn thing that happens in the world.”

Jon drew a line across her stomach and slid his hands upwards to cup her breasts. She tilted her head back to look at him and he kissed her. “More people should be like you Georgia…” he whispered. “I don’t think that is a very good idea…” she said sounding serious and he laughed softly. “Not for my heart it won’t,” he whispered, more to himself than to her. After that they lied in silence until their skins were all wrinkled and the soap was gone. She raised a hand to examine it and laughed. He smiled into her hair.

“You know…” he said, “if it wasn’t for your damn ankle I would have fucked you right here…” She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. “If it wasn’t for my damn ankle we wouldn’t be here in the first place,” she said. “Then maybe that is the only good thing about this…” he replied. He lifted himself out of the water then and stepped on the tiles. “Can you stand up without using your foot?”

She looked up at him. “I’m a ballerina, what do you think?”

When she lifted herself on one foot using her arms she made it look incredibly easy. She pulled a satisfied face at him. “Like I said, I can manage on my own…” He helped her get out of the bath and wrapped her up in a robe before he quickly dried himself with a towel. Then he scooped her in his arms again and he led her back to the bed. The fact that she no longer made comments about her being able to walk by herself told him she still had to be in more pain than she’d ever admit to him.

When he put her down on the edge of the bed her robe fell open and she pushed it off her shoulders and let herself fall back in the cushions on the bed. Before he climbed on it as well he took a moment to look at her. Her body was all rose and glowy from the long bath they took and her ankle was still a disturbing mixture of purple and blue. Her face was all fresh and clean and natural, without any make up. The look of an angel, but he knew better. He moved himself between her legs and buried his nose in her neck. She smelled after soap and her skin was so soft. She pulled him down for a kiss and he enveloped her lower lip between his before he slid his tongue inside. After a while she wrapped her left leg around his waist to pull him down and he sank into her. He took it slow and tried to be careful because he didn’t want to hurt her. She always seemed fragile under his touch but now she was hurt it only triggered his urge to protect her. As he thought about that he smiled into the kiss because she would kill him if she knew what he was thinking at that moment.

When he pulled his mouth away from hers for a second to look at her beautiful face beneath him she immediately lifted her head off the pillows to reach for his mouth again. She needed to taste him as much as she wanted to feel him inside of her. She wanted every inch of him because she knew that soon, too soon he would be gone again. She moaned into his mouth as he continued to move in and out, slowly and careful, for the first time.

They kissed until Georgia pushed her head back in the pillows and closed her eyes. He followed the lines of her full parted lips with his fingers and as she arched her back and pushed her hips up to meet his he grabbed them tight.

“Open your eyes,” he panted, his voice husky. She did what he asked her and looked right in his bright blue eyes as her orgasm build before it exploded.

“Oh my God, Jon…” she panted. Jon groaned as he then came inside her and she trembled beneath him, wrapping her arms and one leg around him to keep him right there. He carefully rolled over to his back so she landed on top of him. He was still inside her and she didn’t move. They just laid like that for a while and combed her hair with his fingers. It was moist from sweat and soapy water.  

“You’re so beautiful Georgia…” he whispered.

She lifted her head to look at him, she wanted to make a joke about it, tell him he was quite alright himself, say something – anything, but she didn’t. Because she knew that this was the first time he said it to her. And she knew that the words meant the same as those three other words, that he couldn’t or wouldn’t say. Not yet anyway. She rested her chin on his chest and ran her fingers through his wet hair before she softly pressed  her hands against his cheeks.

“Thank you for not leaving me…” she said.

Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

NYC Ballet’s star ballerina injured during rehearsals

“But the show goes on,” says head chorographer of the New York City Ballet, Nicholas Lodinski in a statement released to the press last night.

The famous ballet is currently rehearsing for their summer run of the Sleeping Beauty and last afternoon the company’s biggest star, Georgia Wilde (24), passed out after spraining her ankle. Wilde was given the very rare title of Prima Ballerina two years earlier and since then she has been the main attraction of the company and according to Lodinski one of the biggest reasons the theater still sells out every night. “Everything about Georgia is outstanding; her talent, her devotion and of course her beauty, and we are very privileged to work with her, however health comes first and at this point the only wise decision for us was to give her the rests she needs to recover. She is taking the summer off and we are looking forward to her return in Autumn.”

Fellow company member and a good friend of Wilde, Yasmin Carter, was asked to replace Georgia in the role of Princess Aurora. We wish the beautiful ballerina all the best and hope for a quick, full recovery.

Jon closed his laptop and looked up at his wife, who was the first to tell him about Georgia’s injury. “Remember the girl we met in the gallery last week? I heard she injured herself yesterday…”

As soon as he got the chance then, he opened his laptop and found the message he just read on the New York Times website. He was thinking about the fight he had with her last night and he felt guilty. He shouldn’t have treated her the way he did. He stood up and pressed a quick kiss on Dorothea’s cheek.

“I have to go,” he said.

She turned around at him in surprise. “Where are you going? Dinner’s almost ready!”

Jon shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I have a meeting in New York about the European tour, thought I told you.”

She shook her head firmly. “No you didn’t, will you be back tonight?”

“No, I think I will stay in New York, I expect it to take a while…”

“I’d prefer if you told me earlier…”

“I’m sorry, okay? Won’t happen again,” he snapped at her and walked out of the kitchen.

Well that was a great move, he thought to himself as he slammed the front door behind him and checked the time. It was nearly seven, if he hurried he could be at her house by half past eight. He needed to see her.

***

By the time Georgia reached the door she was out of breath and tears were burning in her eyes out of frustration. Yasmin had just left, Charlie wouldn’t come back until the next day and she didn’t expect anyone else, so whoever it was that made her stumble all the way to the door, would need a very good reason for it. She opened and couldn’t believe who she was looking at.

“How the fuck did you get up here,” she said and leaned against the doorway to avoid putting her weight on her ankle.

“I told the doorman I was your friend Charlie, he didn’t seem to recognise me…”

“I’m sure that has more to do with his bad memory than you wearing a hat and sunglasses,” she said as his attempt to disguise himself seemed weak in her eyes.

“It did the trick,” he said and then they stood there for a few seconds until Georgia turned around and started to hop back inside her house. He tried to assist her by grabbing her elbow but she pulled her arm away from him.

He followed her back in through the hallway, that led them right in to a huge open space with a kitchen, a dining table and at the far end, in front of three ceiling high windows, a living. But he didn’t stop until he reached the doorway to her bedroom where he stood to watch her roll back on the bed. He took his time to look around the spacious bedroom and she looked at him while he did. She loved her bedroom. The walls were pained in a very light shade of lilac and everything else was white. Except for the floor, that matched with the living room/kitchen and hallway. Dark vintage wood. Then he stepped in a little further and tossed a pack of cigarettes on the bed.

“Thought you might be short on these after spending the day in bed…” he said.

She bend over to grab the package on her nightstand and shook the last cigarette out of it. “You thought that right,” she said and lit it.

The room smelled a little of cigarette smoke, but most of it seemed to have gotten away through the open window, in front of which the curtains danced softly in the freezing winter wind.

“Listen,” she said, dragging at her cigarette, “The fact that I am now here in bed with this fucking ankle doesn’t mean I want your sympathy, because I don’t and I am still mad at you anyway.”

He raised an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.  I thought I was mad at yóu.”

“You were just so full of yourself, again, that you didn’t even notice I was mad at you as well…”

He laughed a joyless laugh. “I ain’t the one telling my friends about us, George.”

“No, I know that. I am. And it’s been all over the media since hasn’t it?!”

Jon sighed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have come here,” she said.

“You know what…” he replied. “maybe I shouldn’t have.”

She watched him turn around, and he disappeared behind the door as he closed it. Soon after that she drifted off to sleep. Not because she wanted to, but because it had been how she had spent the most of her day thanks to whatever the doctor had given her against the pain.

***

As Jon stood alone in the living room he knew he couldn’t leave her behind like that. She could barely move and even though she would never admit it, she could really use some help. Besides, he didn’t come all the way from Jersey for this. He threw a couple of the colourful cushions on her black couch aside before he sat down and looked around. The room was basically a huge T-shaped loft on the top floor of an old factory. It had a very high ceiling with a kitchen and dining table in the back, two doors in the white wall on his right side, behind one of them she was asleep and he assumed her bathroom was hidden behind the other. She stuck a map of the universe and it’s planet on the wall between the doors. The long brick wall on his left was unpainted, and cd’s were piled up against it. Books and magazines were scattered all across the room and underneath the glass coffee table in front of him laid a pair of designer heels. Around the huge dining table behind him stood a collection of eight randomly picked chairs, most of the seats were covered with floral and Aztec fabrics. All in all her house was  an organised mess of a lot of things that somehow came together in a perfect way.  Just like Georgia.

***

About two hours later Georgia wasn’t even surprised when she woke up from him entering the bedroom again.

“I hope you had a great time on your own sneaking around my place while I was unconscious…” she said as she crawled up and rested her back against the wall behind her. She looked a sleepy, adorable mess.

“Actually I did the dishes, did your wash and ironed…” he said and she laughed.

“I’m serious,” he said and Georgia’s eyes grew wider.

“Wait… I just had Jon Bon Jovi doing my dishes and ironing my wash and I wasn’t even there to see it?!”

He chuckled amused. “If you are lucky I might do it against someday, although I prefer seeing your panties on you, or on the floor…”

 You ironed my underwear?!”

“It was the most fun part!” he said spreading out his hands in defence.

She laughed. “I can’t believe this…”

In the silence that followed they stood and looked at each other and then Georgia pulled the comforter back. Without saying a word he kicked of his jeans and stepped in, pulling her in his arms. With his stomach against her warm back.

“Jon?”

“Hmm..”

“I’m so scared…” she whispered with tears in her eyes that she didn’t show him. He stared at the curtains still moving in the now dark room and caressed her hand and wrist. He couldn’t tell if she was still only talking about the future of her career or her future in general. Whatever it was he could relate to the feeling.

Chapter 20

TWENTY

The conversation with Charlie was now barely two hours ago and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t focus on her routines like she should. And of course Lodinski noticed. He made her do routines she knew so well over and over again and she tried to give her all, but meanwhile the conversation kept playing in her head. And also the question whether or not Jon should know. How would he react, would it matter if she never told him? Her head just wouldn’t shut up and then it happened.

Even before her feet touched the ground she knew it was going to hurt. And it did. A stinging pain shot right through her and she had to press her lips together to avoid to cry out loud. She looked around if anybody noticed but luckily Lodinski was just busy correcting Veronica’s shoulder position and wasn’t looking at her. Nobody else had seen it either, but she felt it. She kept going on though, because she didn’t want to let Lodinski down even more than she already had. The pain didn’t go away anymore but it didn’t get worse either and she managed to get it through the rest of rehearsals without telling anyone what happened.

By the time she got home that night her ankle had started to swell up and it turned slightly red, but this wasn’t the first time that happened and she knew it would probably be back to normal by tomorrow. And it had to be because she couldn’t risk to miss rehearsals. Over the last few weeks Lodinski had gotten mad at her more than in the fifteen years before that and she knew she had to get her priorities straight. She was sure Jon didn’t let this situation affect his stage presence and neither should she allow that to happen. So she made a decision. She had to tell him about Charlie and leave it behind her. She put compresses on her ankle, made herself a salad for dinner and she sat down on the couch with her foot on the table in front of her. While she ate her dinner she called him. He answered immediately.

“Baby,” he said and she smiled. She just loved when he called her that and it also told her he was alone. “Hey,” she said.

“How are you?” he asked her and she looked at her ankle in front of her. “I am okay, what about you?”

“Busy,” he answered and sighed. She pictured how he would pull a hand through  his hair.

“Always busy,” she said and he nodded.

“Jon I need to tell you something,” she then said as she figured she should better get this over with quickly before she would change her mind.

“What is it? Am I in trouble?” he joked and she tried to laugh.

“No but I might be… listen this wasn’t supposed to happen but it did and I thought you should know…”

“Now I am worried,” he said and she heard in his voice that he was. And  maybe he should be.

She told him about Charlie and that he saw them and he dealt with that part alright. Which made her sigh with relief. But when he asked her what she told him he was no longer as understanding as she hoped he would be.

“What do you mean you told him everything?!” he shouted after she explained it to him.

“I couldn’t lie to him, Jon,” she said and put her plate beside her on the couch.

“Oh now you suddenly have a problem with lying to people?”

“Jon please?”

“Don’t ‘please ‘ me now,” he said. “You should never have told him Georgia, I don’t know that guy, he could be out telling everyone for all I know!”

“He is my friend, Jon I trust him.”

“I thought we agreed that nobody could know and that was for a reason Georgia, we are taking a huge risk and I believe it is worth it but I can’t have anyone else involved in this…”

She didn’t say anything anymore, he was really pissed.

“Fuck this!” he added then.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

“I bet you are but that won’t get us anywhere now will it?!”

“I guess not, but he is my friend Jon, I trust him and you should trust me.”

“I did, but this isn’t making it any easier for me… I’m starting to wonder what all this means to you anyway… It’s not a game.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t discuss this over the phone,” she tried.

“No, maybe it’s best if we end this conversation now.”

She sighed.
“I’ll call you, don’t call me, you need to think before you do, Georgia.”

“But he saw us, it’s not my fault.”

“You could have said it was a onetime thing, hell you would probably even have gotten away with saying that wasn’t me, but you chose to tell him every damn thing. That’s the problem.”

“But it was you and this isn’t just about you,” she said getting angry now as well.

“You have no commitments to anyone, Georgia, but I do and that is what this is about, I need to think about where we are going from here, I’ll call you – bye.”

“Bye,” she said, hang up before he could and threw the phone into the corner of the couch.

Yes it sure was the best decision to tell him, she thought to herself and stood up to take her plate to the kitchen. Too fast. A strong pain shot through her leg.

“Fuck you,” she yelled, frustrated. Not sure if it was directed to herself, to him or her ankle.

**

Needless to say that the next day she was thinking about it all even more than the day before. The swelling didn’t get worse but her ankle had turned slightly blue and lilac so she asked the company’s physical therapist to tape it for her and she made him promise not to tell Lodinski anything. He wasn’t too keen on that at first and he didn’t think it was a good idea to dance on it already again either but then Georgia was forced to use her secret weapon. Her looks. She flashed him a sexy smile while she swore she would go see the company doctor after rehearsals and that did the trick. Like it always did.

She managed to hide her taped ankle underneath her leg warmer and started doing warm up exercises that hurt so bad that she had to blink against tears several times. But she was sure she just had to get through the worst pain before it would get better and all would be fine. And she would rather feel this pain that tell Lodinski about her misstep, and the missteps before it that caused this particular one.

Soon after that she turned as white as a ghost and everything else went black.

When she opened her eyes again she found herself in a bed in an unfamiliar room, with Lodinski and a man standing behind her bed. It turned out they brought her to the private section of some NYC hospital, according to Lodinski. Then the doctor started to talk.

“Hey Georgia, I am doctor McQuinnes, how are you feeling?”

She took her time to think about that question before she answered it and then she shrugged her shoulders. “Alright, I think.”

The doctor nodded and asked her if she could sit up. In fact she was really feeling okay so she did what her was told and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She then saw that her foot was no longer taped and twice the size it was supposed to be. Her skin was also no longer only lilac and soft blue, but deep  purple, dark blue, green and even black.

The doctor nodded again as he followed her eyes. “Yes, that’s quite a nasty injury you got there, but I have to examine it and you have to tell me exactly what you feel.”

He started bending her foot in all possible incredibly hurtful directions.

“Yes that all hurts fucking bad,” she managed to say as she squeezed her eyes together and grabbed the mattress tight on each side of her.

She was used to pain. Straps cutting in her skin, blisters, bleeding and torn toenails happened on a weekly basis, and she also strained countless muscles before and she never complained or moaned about anything because it was part of her job. But the pain that now went through her was nothing compared to anything she felt before.

The doctor nodded his typical nod once again. “That’s what I thought. We’re going to keep you here for the night and you will have to take the summer off to rest.”

In a split second she turned her head to look at Lodinski. He hadn’t moved a bit. Maybe he already knew. Georgia started to panic.

“But I can’t, this is my job, people paid to see me, I can’t just take a whole summer off, that’s not possible.”

Lodinski sighed. “Stop it drama queen. It’s either this or go on and destroy your whole career. We can’t take any risks with you Georgia. You are taking the summer off, you are coming back for therapy with Jacque in July and we will start the rehearsals for the winter season in August. End of discussion."

Georgia couldn’t believe it. “But what about… everything?”

“What about it?” Lodinski said. “And let’s be honest, maybe you do need a little break from it all. You haven’t had a proper one in the fifteen years I know you and that is why you became who you are today, but I’d like to keep you around a little longer. Your body is protesting and you need to listen…” He looked at the doctor who nodded his head. “Doctor’s orders,” doctor McQuinnes said.

“But will I be able to walk?” she asked then.

The doctor wrote something down on his clipboard before he looked up at her. “Not for the first week or so you won’t. Then you’ll have to do with crutches but in a month or so, if you do keep your rest, you will be able to walk. That doesn’t mean you will be able to dance or do anything other than walk on it but that speaks for itself.”

She fell back in the cushions. “I think I need a moment on my own to let this sink in,” she said and Lodinski nodded. “Sure, I’ve got work to do anyway. I need to get a message out to the press and find myself a new Princess Aurora before this day is over, I will be back tonight is there anyone we can call?”

She swallowed and sighed. Yes, there was this one person, but that didn’t seem to be an option anymore. “Yasmin,” she said.

Lodinski pulled a face at her. “I know your mind might be a little clouded but she was right there when it happened, she is at your place now to get you something to read and some clean clothes for you to put on when you go home in the morning.”

“Oh that’s right…” she said and she vaguely remembered then how she passed out in the middle of rehearsals. For everyone to see. They must have had the day of their lives. 

Chapter 19

NINETEEN

“Georgia, put your hair up please, I wanna see your pretty face,” Lodinski said the minute she walked in. She walked towards her spot in the room while she rolled her hair into a quick bun and saw Veronica was looking at her via the mirrored wall in front of them.

“You have the most wonderful hair,” she said and Georgia shrugged her shoulders.

“No I don’t, I just wear it messy and make it look like I do that on purpose.” She wasn’t in the mood for small talk with the girls. Especially today. In her mind she was still playing the conversation she had with Charlie that morning. He came to see her at her house, which was something he hardly ever did and she still couldn’t believe what he told her.

She was just doing the dishes when the doorman called, asking her if she knew a man called Charlie Harvey.  She was surprised to say the least but she told him to let him up. With the towel in her hands she went to open the door for him and he was already there when she got to it.

“Jesus, did you run or something?” she said and dried her hands with the towel.

“Hi,” he said, he seemed excited and stepped alongside her to walk to the kitchen.

“I’m almost done here” Georgia said as she followed him in and walked back to the sink. “Did you end up selling many photos?” she continued and Charlie sat down at the dining table where he could face her.

“What? Oh yes, all of them, my most successful exposition yet.”

Georgia smiled, she was genuinely happy for him. “That is great.”

“It is, it is…” he said and stared at his hands in silence.

“So, you know that I have to leave for rehearsals in an hour right?” she said as she piled up the plates to put them in the cabinet, wondering what he came by for.

“Yes,” he said “but I really want to talk to you about something and I couldn’t wait so… if you will please sit down with me.”

Georgia frowned and walked towards the table. “Are you ok? Can I get you anything by the way?”

He shook his head. “Maybe later, please just sit down before I change my mind and that’s not fair to you…”

“What is not fair? What is going on?”

“Alright listen… and please promise me you won’t get mad… The other week at the sugar factory… I just sold one of your portraits to this woman and she kept asking me if she could talk to you. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t know where you were and that you would come back later but she insisted so I said to her… let me see if I can find her, so…”

Georgia felt a strange tingling in her stomach. A part of her already knew where this was going.

“So I went to look for you and I really don’t know why I did it but I climbed the stairs to the second floor and…”

Georgia stood up from her chair and turned her back at him. She didn’t want to look at her friend while he explained to her what he had seen. “O my God,” she said.

“I saw you… with him, and... Jesus, Georgia I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do but I thought you deserved to know. And I just really want to know… what the fuck is this about? Because you can’t tell me that was a first.”

Georgia walked back to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. She knew she owed him an explanation and part of her was relieved that she could finally share it with someone but she knew Jon would not be as pleased. She sat back down and looked at him. He looked worried, curious and excited. She told him the whole story from beginning to end and he didn’t interrupt her one single time. He just sat there and listened. He didn’t even move until Georgia started to tear up out of frustration, because it overwhelmed her to even talk about him.

He reached for her hand across the table and held it tight. “Georgia baby… this is so…”

“So not right,” she said and she wanted to withdraw her hand but he didn’t let her. “You aren’t supposed to know. Not you out of everyone. You’re a gossip king and a gay man.”

It was now Charlie who let go of her hand and sat back, offended. “Georgia I know you are upset but that isn’t fair. I am your friend more than I am gay and this is a serious problem.”

“What is?” she whispered.

“That you are obviously hopelessly in love with a married rock star is what I’d call a problem.”

She pulled a tortured face at him and took a sip of water. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” he simply said. “But, if there is one girl on this goddamn planet who can pull that off it’s you. I can’t blame the man for falling for you so you are not going to waste your time thinking about reasons why you shouldn’t do this.”

She looked up and couldn’t believe he said this. The one thing she wanted to hear but never thought anyone would understand. “You better use it trying to keep him instead, because from what I’ve seen it just might be worth it.”

“What?! You stayed to watch?”

He grinned at her. “Maybe just for a few seconds, c’mon you guys wouldn’t even have noticed if a bomb dropped on that building.”

Georgia couldn’t believe it but she laughed despite herself. “Charlie that is disgusting!”

He raised both his hands in defence. “It was hot!”

They talked a little longer and Georgia made him promise not to tell anyone a million times. Even though she knew he wouldn’t. She knew Charlie for over five years now and he was literally one of the very few people in her life that never let her down. Even though she was still not completely comfortable with the fact that he knew, it felt good to finally be able to talk about it.

“I don’t even know where this is going, he’s going to Europe for two months in a few weeks…”

“But he’ll be back,” Charlie said.

“Yes but I’m just so scared. I mean he told me all these things about it being different for him as well and that he needs me but why should I believe him?”

“Georgia… he is a married man with children, he has this massive career, do you really think he would still risk it all if this didn’t mean much to him? I don’t believe that and I don’t think you do either.”

She shook her head. “I guess not…”

She sighed. “But I have been broken before… even though whatever I felt for all those assholes before him was nothing compared to what I feel for him, but is this falling in love, Charlie?”

He looked at her in pity, she looked so hopeless. So not like herself.

“I’m afraid it is, girl…” he said and he pulled her up while he walked around the table.

“But it’s not fun.”

He pulled her in his arms for a hug. “It will be eventually, but if you are feeling so much that should tell you that this will all be worth it. I’m sure it won’t be a lot of fun for him either to go back to his  wife after he just fucked you. He must feel guilt and pain as well… but there’s one thing he does not feel and that is regret otherwise he wouldn’t have gone through with this, right?”

She leaned back to look at him and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “This is so fucked up…”

Charlie chuckled. “That’s what they call love, girl.”

Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Georgia was just preparing herself to get up from the toilet seat before someone would call for help, thinking some maniac photographer committed suicide, when her phone announced an incoming message.

‘Since we are both here… meet me on the second floor, small staircase on your right hand.’

Georgia felt how the blood rushed to her head. This was not what her parents had wished for their daughter to become, yet she knew she was going to see him, if only tell him she wasn’t going to let him do this while his wife was in the same building.

“I’m not going to have sex with you here, while… so many people are only one floor away.” She said but willingly let him push her against the brick wall of the small and dark second floor. There was nobody around and nobody would get up there for no particular reason either. There was no furniture, just a rough vintage wood floor.

She meant what she said, and knowing his wife was out there somewhere was just disgusting. But with the kiss that followed he took all excuses right out of her mouth. Just like that and it left her longing for him, while he had her exactly where he wanted.

“I’m not a slut you can just fulfil your needs on,” she tried and knew it was pointless. If there was one thing she should know by now it was that he didn’t look at her that way.

“Georgia, please…” he said. She quite liked that he was now basically begging her to have her and she smiled as she realised she could go on with this a little longer.

“What… how do I know you really want me?” she whispered and hoped he didn’t notice how she shivered as he slid his hands down her sides. Then he chuckled as he realised what she tried to do. He slid his hand up her leg, underneath her dress and inside her panties to discover her wetness.

“Damn Georgia…” he groaned as he withdrew his hand. “Does it really matter how much I want you, because you seem to want me either way…” he spoke in a low voice and she trembled, wondering how she had lost control to him so quickly, again. He kissed her before he continued.

“But for what it’s worth, I want you more than I ever thought I would or could,” he said and she looked at him, finding passion in his eyes.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” she mumbled and kicked of her boots. He pulled her closer with his fingers around her belt and she fumbled with the button on his black jeans. Her belt landed on the floor with a bump. He pushed her dress up and her lace panties down. She kicked them aside and followed him to the floor as he sat down.

She cried out loud as he entered her and started to move on top of him. The noise from all the people that were talking downstairs came from very far away as they made love on the hard floor in the dark. He groaned as he laid his hands on her hips for extra support and enjoyed the view of her bouncing up and down on top of him, her dress only covering her breasts. The breasts he wanted to free real bad. He reached out for the clasp on her bra and opened it, pushed her dress up higher and he cupped her breasts in his hands. She leaned in to kiss him and when she buried her face in his neck he heard her breathing heavily. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against him. She started to tremble and moaned loudly, uncontrollably. He had almost forgotten what it was like to watch her come with him inside of her. It felt so good. She tensed her muscles around him and cried out his name, which triggered his own climax.

They sat together then, while the rumour downstairs reminded them of the fact that they had to be very careful, and that what they had done was ridiculously risky. Georgia reached for her panties without moving away from his chest and pulled them on. He leaned back to push his trousers and boxers back up and Georgia lifted herself a little to let him. When he sat up again he wrapped her belt around her waist. She rested her forehead against his while he rested his arms on her small shoulders and she closed her eyes for a moment, still feeling lightheaded.

“I’m gonna call you as soon as I can and it won’t be like this next time, I promise,” he whispered and she smiled, her eyes still closed. He felt her smile more than he could see it.

“I kind of liked it,” she said and he laughed softly.

“Then imagine what it will be like when we have all the time in the world.” She didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking how exactly he thought that would ever happen so she just nodded and chose to believe him.

“I can’t wait…” she whispered.

“Me neither baby,” he kissed her softly.

“We better go now,” she said then and she heard the reluctance in her own voice. Sharing this with him made her remember again why she believed it was worth it. She wanted to stay with him, lay in bed with him, have sex with him, talk to him and eventually fall asleep in his arms again. In had been weeks since that happened and this only made the longing for that kind of intimacy stronger. She stood up and he followed.

****

She wiped away a tear from her cheek roughly, as she walked down the small stairs seconds later. It wasn’t guilt this time that made her feel so upset. It was the fact that she had to leave him behind, and the fact that she got herself involved in this kind of relationship. It was so intense and so wrong. The moment she mingled with the rest of the visitors again, all she wanted to do was go home. She looked around but didn’t see Charlie anywhere so she decided to text him on the way home. Downstairs she grabbed her coat and left. The last cab that had been waiting in front of the building just drove off when she came outside and she didn’t want to waste time waiting so she decided to walk instead.

Jon waited another five minutes after Georgia left. Not willing to go down just yet. He felt guilt, but not as strong as he should be feeling it. He didn’t want to face his wife, minutes after Georgia had given him an orgasm like his wife hadn’t done for years. He just wanted to hold Georgia in his arms and watch her fall asleep and that was what he felt guilty for. Dorothea deserved better than that. She was the most amazing woman and he loved her. She had been there when he was at his lowest and she had been there when things were going really well. She kept him grounded. But it was different with Georgia. Everything was different when he was with Georgia. And it wasn’t just the excitement of the forbidden. The things he felt for her went way beyond that, and if it wasn’t going to change he knew he would have to choose. And people would get hurt, really bad no matter what.

When he eventually walked down the stairs Dorothea was right there, looking for him. He smiled.

“What were you doing up there, I thought it was just these two floors?” she said and he nodded.

“Phone call, thought I’d better go somewhere where I could actually understand what it was about.” She believed him. Of course she did. He hadn’t given her a reason not to trust him for years.

That night he lied awake for hours. Thinking through his options. When they came home that night, their youngest son had still been awake. The nanny told him he refused to go to sleep until daddy had come to kiss him good night. As he held that tiny little hand in his and looked into the big innocent eyes of his son, he decided that no matter what he would decide, it all had to wait and he knew Georgia would understand. She didn't seem to have much trouble with him being married before and he had no choice. His babies put all their trust in him, and he could never let them down.