Chapter 29

TWENTY-NINE

Georgia crawled back up on the sunbed they shared and allowed herself a moment to look at Jon while he was still trying to get his breathing back to normal. To know that she made him feel that way by just using her lips and tongue was almost as satisfactory. Almost. He lifted his right arm so she could snuggled up against him and he started to run his fingers up and down her spine lazily. They laid in silence while Jon’s fingers continued their path across her body. She felt the tips of his fingers travel to her side, then upwards to the curve of her breasts, underneath the hem of her lilac bikini top. He chuckled lightly when he felt her tremble under his touch. When she looked up his full lips curled into a smile and he lifted his hand to brush his thumb across her cheek lovingly, before he went back to caressing the sunkissed skin of her sides, breasts, back and stomach, in the same slow rhythm.

They didn’t speak for what felt like an hour, but it could have been minutes. Georgia loved these silences as much as she enjoyed the conversations. And that told her that they were doing something right. It was the ultimate cliché Georgia never thought she would believe in, but oddly it was one of many that turned out to be true. With Jon anyway.

Then suddenly Jon was also the one to break the silence.

“Come with me George…” he whispered. His voice still hoarse from his latest orgasm. Georgia tilted her head a little to look aside at him. “Jon, honey, I think I just did… a couple of times.” She smiled involuntary as flashbacks from the last couple of days drifted back in. He chuckled softly and stared up at the bright blue Tuscan sky. She was close to making a reference to his eyes in her mind but stopped herself right on time. Not another cliché! “No smart ass, come on tour, don’t go home… stay with me.” She rolled over and lifted her head now to be able to look at him. He still wasn’t looking back. “Jon…” she began, hearing the disappointment and regret in her own voice as she continued. ‘Don’t do this… don’t say these things you know won’t happen.” He shook his head now, still looking up. His hands folded behind his head. Then he continued as if Georgia never said a word. “I’ve needed you from the day we met but now… this… I need you to stay with me.” When he turned his head then, and fixed his eyes on her, the resemblance to the blue skies were gone. She saw honesty, fear, lust and confusion reflected in them. He reached out a hand to her again and followed the way of the small braid on top of her head with his index finger. She closed her eyes, confused, and found herself wondering if they could really do it. “I’ll figure something out,” he whispered.

Those words were what made her sit up straight and she crossed her legs underneath her. “No,” she said. He pulled his hand back and blinked hard in surprise. “No,” she said again. “If we are going to do this I won’t settle with ‘I’ll figure something out’. You obviously think we can pull this off and I need you to show me that we can. Talk to me.”

She trusted him. Hell, she trusted him more than she probably should, considering the circumstances, but she also understood that taking her on tour would be a serious risk. A risk he didn’t have to take, shouldn’t take. But he obviously wanted to, which meant that he thought it was worth it. But this time she wasn’t just going to back her bags and follow him to wherever he wanted to, like she had done this time. She wanted to know exactly what the plan was. She wanted to be part of it. She wanted to know what exactly was waiting for her. Because then, if something would go wrong, she only had herself to blame.

“’Cause,” she continued, “If I’ll figure something out means: ‘I’m gonna lock you in my room to hide you and you’ll have to cycle from city to city because you obviously can’t travel with us and I’m not paying for it either’, I’m not sure if I want you to figure something out.” He laughed. “I hadn’t thought of that yet, that’s actually not a very bad idea you know.” He cocked an eyebrow at her and smirked lazily. His eyes sparkled now, and they were hopeful. He probably thought that she would turn down the plan right away. And she should have. But he wasn’t the only one on this vacation and she had felt everything he felt. And at this point she would do a lot of things to be able to spend a few more weeks with him. “Good thing I’m in good shape then…” she said and he laughed again. “And I thought I was too, until I met you…” in the short silence that followed he put on a more serious face and shook his head again. “No,” he said. “We obviously gonna have to tell some people. The guys in the band, Matt and my manager, maybe even a few crew members, but it’ll surprise you how lonely life on the road is. I don’t have to see anyone if I don’t want to.” “But what does it mean if you tell the boys in the band…”

He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “In all honesty… I have no idea. My wife is… she is the mother of my children, has been my wife for over 20 years, my girlfriend longer than you’ve lived on this planet and this… You are the first reason I ever considered leaving her for.” He took a breath, frowned and continued. “No, let me rephrase that: know I will end up leaving her for and that scares the hell out of me. So right now all I know is that I want to be with you this summer and that I am willing to share with the people closest to me on the road that this is what is going on right now and that is… all I can give you at this point and it’s up to you to decide what you wanna do with it.” He stopped, curled his lips into a faint smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“There, I talked to you.”

Patience

As some of you may know I'm going to see quite a few BJ shows this summer and I'm very busy with school and work in the meantime so I don't update as often as I used to, but it will get better - I promise. ;-)

Thank you for your patience ♥♥

Chapter 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

On her first morning in Tuscany Georgia woke up from Jon’s voice talking to someone on the phone beside her. He didn’t sound pleased and she tried to lay still to focussed on the words.

“Isn’t this a private property?” He asked and paused to listen to the person on the other side. Georgia couldn’t understand it but it was a low male voice. Jon didn’t wait until he was finished though. “Go find out if it is and make them leave.” The person tried to say something else but he was interrupted again. This side of Jon was one she hadn’t seen much but she had a feeling it was the only side some people knew. “Don’t bother me again until they are gone,” he said and ended the conversation. He tossed the phone on the nightstand and sighed. Only then he noticed that Georgia was awake.

She could see his eyes soften as he smiled at her and immediately he brought a hand to her face to caress her cheek and her bottom lip gently. She closed her eyes for a second as his touch made her skin tingle. “Good morning baby,” he whispered. Even his voice sounded different now he talked to her. She tilted her head sideways to caress his hand with her lips.  ‘’What was that about?’ she asked and he shook his head. “Those Italian morons did their job well,” he said and when he saw the confused look on her face he explained: “There’s photographers outside the gates.”

Georgia lifted her head then to look at him. “Do they know I’m here?!” He shook his head again, more slowly this time. “No they don’t. They can’t, but I’d like to keep it that way so there’s no way in hell we’re going out today.” Georgia ball back in the pillows. She knew that in the villa and it’s gardens, they could do whatever they wanted but the thought of photographers being so close to their secret now wasn’t a very nice one. Jon however, thought the look on her face was disappointment because they couldn’t go on the planned sightseeing trip. He scooped her in his arms and she laughed. “What’s so funny?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I was just thinking of all the things I’d rather do with you anyway.” He chuckled. “Did you come here to kill me now or what, woman?” She turned over, climbed up and sat down on his lap with a knee on each side of him. “You didn’t seem to mind last night,” she said and they both smiled a little at the reminder of that. His response was a kiss.

++

That afternoon they laid side by side on lounge chairs at the pool. Jon held her hand and lazily played with her fingers. Every now and then she would turn the page of a copy of Vogue that rested against her knees but she wasn’t really reading anything. His company was too distracting, especially because all he wore was a pair of black swimming shorts and sunglasses. When suddenly a man in black jeans and a black t-shirt with the name of a security company passed through the garden, Georgia withdrew her hand in a reflex. Jon chuckled. “It’s okay George…” he said lazily, then he added: “Let me tell you this... they know what is going on in here, even if I’m not holding your hand.” Then before she could say anything else, the man reached their sunbeds and Georgia tried to cover her body with her arms a little as the man was shamelessly looking at her while he quickly told Jon that the photographers were indeed not allowed to stand in front of the gates and that the local police had asked them to leave. Jon nodded his head. He seemed pleased to hear the news and the man turned around again. Georgia waited until he was out of sight before she said: “You should really give your people better instructions on what behaviour is appropriate and what isn’t, you know."  Jon laughed. “I thought for a second that his eyes were falling out but can't blame the guy...” He looked at her in her little lilac bikini and started to run his fingertips up and down her left side. 

There was still something else Georgia had to know though. “So…” she began. “Your security people know, who else knows?” He sighed and sat up. He rested his elbows on his legs and leaned towards her. “My brother, Matt, and Paul, my manager. My wife knows where I am but she thinks I’m with friends, obviously.” He paused. “She couldn’t come over because the kids are in school. They are all coming over for a holiday when tour’s over.” He looked at her to see her reaction but she barely showed him one. She expected that they would come to see him at one point. Not one father would want to miss his kids for so long. “What did they say?” she asked instead. “I’m not even sure Matt believed me when I told him.”

Then he grabbed her hand again but this time he pulled her up as well. “Let’s go for a swim, relax, we’re on holiday.” He grinned at her as they walked down the stairs. When Georgia reached the bottom, the water reached her hips but it got a little deeper as she swam away. Jon caught up with her quickly and scooped her in his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and wiped the wet hairs from his forehead. “I wonder what the hell I did to deserve you…” he then suddenly said as they looked at each other. She smiled softly and slowly moved her hips against him as she started to feel him grow harder between them. “You didn’t do a thing, I was just so stupid to fall for you.” Now it was his turn to laugh. “I’m happy you are so stupid.” He started to walk towards the edge of the pool and sat her down on it.

Jon moved his arms to rest his elbows on the small space in between her legs before he pushed them further apart. She combed through his wet hair with her fingers and looked down at him. “You are so beautiful George…” Jon mumbled against the skin of her inner thigh and she shivered. He moved his mouth up and grabbed the fabric of her bottoms between his teeth, right at the most sensitive spot. Then he let go and the elastic fabric snapped back against her skin. She gasped as he moved forward, now scraping his teeth over that exact part again. She buried both her hands in his hair and tugged at his roots. He chuckled. “never satisfied…” he mumbled but she saw the admiration in his eyes as he looked up at her from between her legs. His fingers moved to the strings on the left side of her bikini bottom and it fell open as he pulled them loose. He pushed it aside to give himself full access. He licked her teasingly and she leaned backwards on her hands. She tilted her head and her long hair swept over the wet tiles while he buried his tongue inside her. She put her legs over his shoulders and pushed her calves against his shoulder blades. And with just his tongue, teeth and lips he brought her to yet another orgasm. He didn’t stop until the last wave drifted away and then he pulled her back into the water. She shook heavily against him as he held her in his arms. She took deep breaths and slowly her heart rate returned to normal. "That felt... so good," she told him quietly as she gazed into those blue eyes and he smiled. "And it's only just the beginning."

Chapter 27

TWENTY-SEVEN

After a thirty minute drive they arrived at the villa. It was an old but completely restored Tuscan country house build on the southern hills of Florence. ‘Villa Le Rose’ read the sign on the gate that gave them access to a long driveway. The villa was surrounded by olive groves and gardens with antique rose bushes,  potted lemon trees , sage and lavender. The house itself existed of a big hall with a golden chandelier on the high ceiling, a spacious living room with frescoed walls, a luxury kitchen and dining. In the hallway a spiral staircase led to the first floor that contained two bedrooms and a bathroom with fireplace. All ceilings were decorated and the tile floors were incredible works of mosaic. The rooms were elegantly furnished with a combination of heavy wood, velvet, marble and glass.

After Jon gave her a quick tour through the villa, he led her to the en-suite master bedroom where one of the staff members had already brought her luggage. She pulled her dress over her head and threw it on the floor before she walked towards the large high windows in her matching black lace underwear. The ceiling high windows gave perfect view of the beautiful landscapes around the mansion and the rustic floral back garden that contained an oval shaped pool. High hedges and ancient trees surrounded the garden and gave them the privacy they needed. She sighed, this place was absolutely perfect.  “It’s beautiful…” Jon was still standing on the doorstep and observed her. He looked at her blond hair that covered  her small shoulders and most of her back. His eyes went down the silky white skin and her tiny waist. He knew that when he put his hands around it, his index fingers could almost touch each other. Her skinny but strong legs and her perfectly round ass underneath tight black lace. He groaned as he walked towards her to pull his arms around her from behind. Yes, beautiful – he thought.

“I think dinner’s ready by now,” he whispered against her hair. She turned around in his arms to face him and to tell him he should go downstairs to wait for her while she got changed but her lips were against hers before the words could leave her mouth. She parted her lips and he deepened the kiss. Only a minute later her stomach roared loud and not very charming. Jon held back with a grin and he shook his head slowly as he looked in her eyes. She stared back innocently. “Just my luck…” he mumbled. “To fall in love with the one ballerina that choses food over almost everything else.” She chuckled and couldn’t deny that she was actually starving.

He laughed, his hands still on the small of her bare back. “Alright, I get it, it’s okay I can wait. Dessert has always been my favourite part of a meal,” he said, winked and turned on his heels to leave the bedroom. He didn’t know how long he could control himself around her now she was only wearing a bra and panties. Or at all, for that matter.

Five minutes later Georgia appeared in the garden and found Jon waiting under the wooden pergola. Purple and white flowers hang down from its room and candles were burning on the black granite table. It all looked so ridiculously romantic that Georgia laughed while she sat down opposite him. The setting was beautiful but at the same time  extremely cheesy. She just hoped that he only did this because it was her first night at the mansion. As soon as she sat down a waiter appeared from the house to serve dinner and Jon saw the look on Georgia’s face. “Don’t worry, as soon as we’re finished we’ll have the house all to ourselves until I tell them to come back,” he explained when they were alone again.

While they ate he updated her about the tour and his operation, and she told her about the progress she was making with her own injury, but soon they talked about more private things, she even learned some new things about him and opened up to him a little more as well. In the meantime she slowly began to realise that for the next week she would have this beautiful man all for herself. Finally.

Chapter 26

TWENTY-SIX

When she walked through the doors into the arrivals hall he was already there. It surprised her, even though he told her he would be there, she didn’t realise he meant he would be hére. With so many people around. He reached out for her and pulled her against him with an arm around her shoulders. When she pressed her nose in his neck and felt his warmth against her own body, she realised how much she really missed him. She forced herself to swallow the tears she felt coming up. He lifted her head to make her look up at him with his fingers under her chin and pressed his lips against hers. It overwhelmed her and she held back. “What are you doing? There are so many people here,” she said a little shocked, wondering if she had missed something. “These people have no clue who I am George, and they don’t fucking care either. And if they would even look at us, all they see is just two people in love who missed each other.” He leaned in for another kiss before he added: “badly.”

“Isn’t that exactly what we are then?” she said jokingly, secretly wishing it could be that simple. Even though she still thought it was risky, she relaxed under his familiar touch when he ran his hands up her arms. Then he threw an arm around her waist and grabbed her suitcase with his free hand. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

It was a little after 8 in the evening, local time, when they stepped outside and Jon led her to a car that he parked on the car park. The normalness of the situation made her giggle. “Wait… you’re driving?” she said and he winked at her. “Wait til you see what I’m gonna drive once we got the hell back to the house,” he said as he opened the trunk and put her suitcase in before he opened the door on her side. She couldn’t ignore the tingling in her stomach and pulled a tortured face at him. She sat down in the car and looked aside to watch him climb in behind the steering wheel. He threw the cap he had been wearing on the backseat and looked hot in a white v-neck t-shirt and baggy knee length shorts, flip-flops and his hair messy on top of his head. He put his sunglasses back on as he started the car.

“Yes, I usually have someone who drives me around while I’m away, but I’m not the only one who deserve a week off, George” he said and winked at her. She shrugged her shoulders and watched how he pulled up and steered the car onto the high way. “I’m not complaining,” she said. He laid a hand down on her upper leg and Georgia closed her eyes as the warm sensation spread through her body. When she opened her eyes again he was looking at her. “What?” she said.

“I can’t believe you are actually here,” he said and she chuckled. “Me neither – I bet your other secret lovers wouldn’t have been stupid enough to show up when you asked them.” He laughed and tightened the grip of his hand on her leg for a second. “It means a lot that you are here George,” he said, more serious now and she nodded.  “It better, because I missed you.”   

Even though she wanted him badly, she didn’t mind having to wait a little longer. The fact that they had all the time in the world without having to think about anything or anyone but each other, without any worries in the world, meant that they finally didn’t have to rush things. Besides that Georgia was starving from the long flight and she had barely eaten anything on board either because she was afraid she would throw it all out again. During the drive to the villa she barely spoke because she was hypnotised by the beautiful italian landscapes that flashed by.

Chapter 25

TWENTY-FIVE

Georgia’s hand trembled as she held the piece of paper between her fingers. She read it over and over again but the words didn’t change. It was a single plane ticket from JFK to Florence Airport in Italy. Tuscany. She had never been there but she knew it was absolutely beautiful. And did it really matter anyway?

 The date of departure was two days from now, an early morning flight on the 2^nd of July. A day after Jon was supposed to have surgery, she knew that because today was their last show of the first part of the European tour. In Dublin. He injured his knee on stage about two weeks ago and had to perform with a knee brace since. He had a week off from tomorrow on and that week started with surgery so he had the time to recover for the rest of the tour. She stared at the small note he also included. She recognised his handwriting.

“Let’s finally be together, love JB,” was all it said and it said it all.

Over the last month her foot had gotten a lot better. She did no longer need crutches and soon she started to overestimate herself. She had to learn the hard way why there was no way she could return to the ballet already again. She knew she would start therapy with the company physician in early August and that would probably not be a moment too soon, she had to admit that. The fact that she felt too good to stay at home but was not able to do too much at the same time was also slowly killing her. It resulted in her staying inside reading and looking out for phone calls from Jon. She missed him badly and only hearing his voice was comforting at first but stopped doing anything for her very soon after he left. For now it was the only option she had.

“Hi…” she said softly and Jon immediately seemed to know what was going on.  

“So you received your mail.”

“I received my mail,” she confirmed.

“Did you get anything special?” he asked and she sighed.

“Jon…”

“Alright, before you say anything , listen to me… I feel like you’re drifting away Georgia and that is not a good feeling, so I thought that maybe my week off would be the perfect opportunity to be together… to really be together you know, but I understand if you....”

“Jon will you shut the hell up, the only reason I called is to thank you. This last month has been horrible and when I read about your injury I felt so bad that I could not be there for you like you have been for me.”

“Wait so… you are saying you’re coming over?”

She smiled brightly to herself as she realised that was exactly what she was about to say. “Yes, I will meet you in Italy, but is it, you know, safe?”

“Yes, it is. We have the villa all to ourselves. Of course there will be staff around but I’ll make sure they will keep their mouths shut.”

“Alright I guess I’ll better hang up now, it seems like I’ve got some packing to do.”

“I’ll see you in two days baby,” he said.

“Two days…” she repeated while she let that fact sink in. “Thank you.”

“Yeah leave that for when you see me.”

In the next couple of hours she contacted everyone that needed to know she was going out of town for a week. She didn’t even have to lie about the destination, only about the reason why. But she was sure neither her parents, her friends or the ballet would ever find out. Nobody had a reason to doubt her anyway. Except for Charlie, so she told him the truth. And he was even more enthusiastic than she was. The others were just happy that she finally decided to do something other than sit around her house and be depressed.

She knew she would arrive late in the evening on the 2^nd and he had to go back to his tour on the 8^th so she would only be able to spend four whole days with him, but it was still better than another week without.

Georgia had flown first class before when she went to Russia and Amsterdam for workshops and internships at ballet companies over there but it didn’t make her like it more. Even though first class and business class sections in planes could easily make you forget you were flying, it didn’t change the fact that you were and she was afraid to fly. She never let it stop her, but it always did stop her from sleeping the night before. This time the reason why she would have to get on a plane didn't really help her to relax either. She was glad therefore that Charlie offered to come with her to the airport because he talked non-stop and almost managed to get her mind off things. Almost, because the main subject of conversation was Jon. Like it had been since the day he found out. Georgia didn’t really mind, as he was still the only one she could talk to about it, but when he got scarily detailed about her sexlife she remained silent and just let him talk. She laughed and ignored the longing for him that was slowly building up inside of her.

Charlie was long gone now and she sat alone in the luxury club lounge of JFK airport sipping from her mojito. She didn’t know if alcohol would help her relax, but neither would water. It was quiet in the lounge, except for a few businessmen that were working on their laptops and talking in their phones. Such a cliché, she thought, wondering how much of a cliché she had become herself. The pretty, young dancer on her way to meet up with her secret rock star lover. For… yes for what? She asked herself. A fuck? She hoped, knew, it was more than that. But would she had stayed at home even if it was just that? She was afraid of the honest answer. When he was still in the US, she did not see him every day, not even every week. But ever since he left for Europe it had become clearer to her that she really wanted, needed to be able to be with him. More than she was willing to admit to herself.

When she looked up she saw that one of the men in the room was looking at her. He lifted his glass and mouthed: "cheers." She just smiled and looked away. He was about Jon’s age but the difference was that he actually looked like he was and that – of course – he wasn’t Jon. And never would be. She checked her phone for the time and it told her she only had thirty more minutes to kill. She finished her drink and put the empty glass on the bar, dragging the attention of the man towards her again. When Georgia realised he got up from his chair and started to cross the room towards her, she quickly grabbed her bag and left the club to lock herself in the toilet. Ever since she met Jon she didn’t even want other men to show interest in her anymore. They all seemed so desperate, uninteresting – boring. She washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn’t put any make-up on and was wearing a pair of black leggings and an oversized Pearl Jam tour shirt. A comfortable outfit because she hoped to sleep during the long flight. She packed a dress, a hairbrush and mascara in her hand luggage to put on right before they  would land in Italy in about eight hours. If you ever will, she added in her thoughts. She didn’t want to push her luck.  

Chapter 24

TWENTY-FOUR

In the week that followed Georgia had more people over at her place than in the last fifteen years all together. Yasmin and Charlie made sure that either of them would stop by every day to check on her and beside that company staff would come by unannounced for no particular reason and the doctor came to examine her twice. The last time he did he brought crutches and encouraged her to go out for a walk on a daily bases. Lodinski in the meantime was too busy at the company to prepare them for the summer season. The last weeks before the premiere were always the most chaotic, yet he made sure he called her every day and though that annoyed her she had to admit that he hadn’t been anything but good to her. And he dismissed all her attempts to change his mind about her taking the summer off before she even brought it up. “You better find yourself a new hobby for the summer Georgia because I don’t want to see you anywhere near Lincoln Center and that’s all I’m going to say about it.” She also learned that she actually only had two true friends, but they were better friends than she ever realised before. It surprised her though that Charlie turned out to be the one she had the best conversations with. That might not be completely fair to Yasmin because she didn’t know about the one thing that was most important in her life at that point, but still Charlie always managed to say the right things.

One night when they talked about Jon again Charlie called it relationship. She thought that was weird, she had never looked at it that way. She didn’t know much about love and successful relationships but she didn’t think this was what one looked like at all. “It’s not a relationship though, is it? I mean… I tried to ignore that I liked him, we fucked, I fell in love and now we are in the phase of getting to know each other. The order it all happened in is so fucked up that it can never become a relationship anyway.” Charlie sighed. “Then what is the right order? What makes a relationship? Going to a club to meet someone and go on a couple dates before you decided whether you even like them or not? That might work for some people but you know as well as I do that you're not like that. Who makes up the rules anyway? He keeps coming back to you, you keep letting him in, I’d say this is as close to a relationship you’ve ever been.” Georgia blinked. “That quite sounds like something Jon said to me as well.” “If the rock star says so, then I guess it must be true.” Georgia sighed. “But he’ll be off for Europe next week anyway.” “Is that already?!” “Yep…” “That sucks,” Charlie said and she could do nothing but agree. She feared the day he would leave, even though she would never admit it to Jon.

So it was true that all the attention was flattering, even for her, but the only thing that really mattered was that Jon kept his word. He came to her house twice, of which he even stayed the night once. It didn’t sound like much but she had learned already to treasure every minute they could spend together. When he left after spending the night he admitted to her that he didn’t know if he would see her again before he would be off to Europe but he also said he would try to come up with something. She could see that he really felt bad about leaving her behind and that meant more to her than his words. She didn’t expect much of it anyway. It was not like he could just postpone his trip to Europe a couple months even if he wanted to and Georgia couldn’t see another way for them to be together. A couple of days after she’d last seen him, just when she came back from the horrific task that going to the supermarket had become, he called her.

“I know what we’re gonna do, Georgia,” he said. He couldn’t even be bothered to greet her properly. Georgia dropped her bag on the kitchen counter and walked to the table. She had a feeling she needed to sit down to hear what he was about to say.

“Spill it,” she said not able to hide her curiosity.

“I’m going to find you a job on tour,” he simply said. Georgia was silent for a few seconds, then she laughed. “You got to be kidding me,” she said. “What? No I’m not.” She could hear the surprise in his voice but what did he expect? That she would drop to her knees and thank him for the opportunity?

“I’m a ballerina, sure i'm an injured one who was forced to stay at home but that doesn't mean you can just decide to give me a job. One you still have to create, even."

“But it would be perfect for us to be together,” he said, disappointed.

“Oh yeah, and what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. She chuckled, not at all amused. “I could set you up with a job at the Fanclub,” he suggested.

“Brilliant,” she said, “but no thank you.”

“Stylist? You seem to be into fashion…”

“Does that mean I have to dress you? I think I’ve proven to be better at undressing…”

“Jesus Christ George, what do you want then?!” he said losing his temper. Patient and understanding as always.

“What I want from you?” she said as she stood up. No longer able to sit still. “I want for you to take me a bit more serious. I can’t believe you thought I would actually let you give me a non-existing job on your tour so you would have me around in case you’d need a fuck.”

“You know it’s not like that,” he said and she could just picture him pulling a hand through his hair. “But I guess this means you’re not gonna do it.”

“No, Jon,” she said slowly and loudly. “I’m not gonna do it and I’m sure there are easier ways for you to satisfy your needs.”

He sighed. “But I need you, not just for that, I need you around. The thought that I can’t see you for another two months kills me.”

“We’re just gonna have to live with it,” she said but she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. Even the thought of him going all the way to Europe for so long killed her but she wasn’t giving in to it. This time she promised herself not to lose her dignity. She was stronger than that. She wouldn’t just give up her life or what was left of it to follow him around for no reason other than to get a few hours of his time a day, if she was lucky. Because she didn’t expect he would have much free time to spend with her anyway.

“Great,” he said.

“No, not really,” she admitted.

“No, alright…" he sighed. "bye.”

“Bye Jon.” She put the phone down and tossed it on the dining table. The rest of the day had to wait. She needed a shower, she needed to wash away another bad idea, another fight and another disappointment.