Chapter 21

TWENTY-ONE

NYC Ballet’s star ballerina injured during rehearsals

“But the show goes on,” says head chorographer of the New York City Ballet, Nicholas Lodinski in a statement released to the press last night.

The famous ballet is currently rehearsing for their summer run of the Sleeping Beauty and last afternoon the company’s biggest star, Georgia Wilde (24), passed out after spraining her ankle. Wilde was given the very rare title of Prima Ballerina two years earlier and since then she has been the main attraction of the company and according to Lodinski one of the biggest reasons the theater still sells out every night. “Everything about Georgia is outstanding; her talent, her devotion and of course her beauty, and we are very privileged to work with her, however health comes first and at this point the only wise decision for us was to give her the rests she needs to recover. She is taking the summer off and we are looking forward to her return in Autumn.”

Fellow company member and a good friend of Wilde, Yasmin Carter, was asked to replace Georgia in the role of Princess Aurora. We wish the beautiful ballerina all the best and hope for a quick, full recovery.

Jon closed his laptop and looked up at his wife, who was the first to tell him about Georgia’s injury. “Remember the girl we met in the gallery last week? I heard she injured herself yesterday…”

As soon as he got the chance then, he opened his laptop and found the message he just read on the New York Times website. He was thinking about the fight he had with her last night and he felt guilty. He shouldn’t have treated her the way he did. He stood up and pressed a quick kiss on Dorothea’s cheek.

“I have to go,” he said.

She turned around at him in surprise. “Where are you going? Dinner’s almost ready!”

Jon shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry, I have a meeting in New York about the European tour, thought I told you.”

She shook her head firmly. “No you didn’t, will you be back tonight?”

“No, I think I will stay in New York, I expect it to take a while…”

“I’d prefer if you told me earlier…”

“I’m sorry, okay? Won’t happen again,” he snapped at her and walked out of the kitchen.

Well that was a great move, he thought to himself as he slammed the front door behind him and checked the time. It was nearly seven, if he hurried he could be at her house by half past eight. He needed to see her.

***

By the time Georgia reached the door she was out of breath and tears were burning in her eyes out of frustration. Yasmin had just left, Charlie wouldn’t come back until the next day and she didn’t expect anyone else, so whoever it was that made her stumble all the way to the door, would need a very good reason for it. She opened and couldn’t believe who she was looking at.

“How the fuck did you get up here,” she said and leaned against the doorway to avoid putting her weight on her ankle.

“I told the doorman I was your friend Charlie, he didn’t seem to recognise me…”

“I’m sure that has more to do with his bad memory than you wearing a hat and sunglasses,” she said as his attempt to disguise himself seemed weak in her eyes.

“It did the trick,” he said and then they stood there for a few seconds until Georgia turned around and started to hop back inside her house. He tried to assist her by grabbing her elbow but she pulled her arm away from him.

He followed her back in through the hallway, that led them right in to a huge open space with a kitchen, a dining table and at the far end, in front of three ceiling high windows, a living. But he didn’t stop until he reached the doorway to her bedroom where he stood to watch her roll back on the bed. He took his time to look around the spacious bedroom and she looked at him while he did. She loved her bedroom. The walls were pained in a very light shade of lilac and everything else was white. Except for the floor, that matched with the living room/kitchen and hallway. Dark vintage wood. Then he stepped in a little further and tossed a pack of cigarettes on the bed.

“Thought you might be short on these after spending the day in bed…” he said.

She bend over to grab the package on her nightstand and shook the last cigarette out of it. “You thought that right,” she said and lit it.

The room smelled a little of cigarette smoke, but most of it seemed to have gotten away through the open window, in front of which the curtains danced softly in the freezing winter wind.

“Listen,” she said, dragging at her cigarette, “The fact that I am now here in bed with this fucking ankle doesn’t mean I want your sympathy, because I don’t and I am still mad at you anyway.”

He raised an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.  I thought I was mad at yóu.”

“You were just so full of yourself, again, that you didn’t even notice I was mad at you as well…”

He laughed a joyless laugh. “I ain’t the one telling my friends about us, George.”

“No, I know that. I am. And it’s been all over the media since hasn’t it?!”

Jon sighed.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have come here,” she said.

“You know what…” he replied. “maybe I shouldn’t have.”

She watched him turn around, and he disappeared behind the door as he closed it. Soon after that she drifted off to sleep. Not because she wanted to, but because it had been how she had spent the most of her day thanks to whatever the doctor had given her against the pain.

***

As Jon stood alone in the living room he knew he couldn’t leave her behind like that. She could barely move and even though she would never admit it, she could really use some help. Besides, he didn’t come all the way from Jersey for this. He threw a couple of the colourful cushions on her black couch aside before he sat down and looked around. The room was basically a huge T-shaped loft on the top floor of an old factory. It had a very high ceiling with a kitchen and dining table in the back, two doors in the white wall on his right side, behind one of them she was asleep and he assumed her bathroom was hidden behind the other. She stuck a map of the universe and it’s planet on the wall between the doors. The long brick wall on his left was unpainted, and cd’s were piled up against it. Books and magazines were scattered all across the room and underneath the glass coffee table in front of him laid a pair of designer heels. Around the huge dining table behind him stood a collection of eight randomly picked chairs, most of the seats were covered with floral and Aztec fabrics. All in all her house was  an organised mess of a lot of things that somehow came together in a perfect way.  Just like Georgia.

***

About two hours later Georgia wasn’t even surprised when she woke up from him entering the bedroom again.

“I hope you had a great time on your own sneaking around my place while I was unconscious…” she said as she crawled up and rested her back against the wall behind her. She looked a sleepy, adorable mess.

“Actually I did the dishes, did your wash and ironed…” he said and she laughed.

“I’m serious,” he said and Georgia’s eyes grew wider.

“Wait… I just had Jon Bon Jovi doing my dishes and ironing my wash and I wasn’t even there to see it?!”

He chuckled amused. “If you are lucky I might do it against someday, although I prefer seeing your panties on you, or on the floor…”

 You ironed my underwear?!”

“It was the most fun part!” he said spreading out his hands in defence.

She laughed. “I can’t believe this…”

In the silence that followed they stood and looked at each other and then Georgia pulled the comforter back. Without saying a word he kicked of his jeans and stepped in, pulling her in his arms. With his stomach against her warm back.

“Jon?”

“Hmm..”

“I’m so scared…” she whispered with tears in her eyes that she didn’t show him. He stared at the curtains still moving in the now dark room and caressed her hand and wrist. He couldn’t tell if she was still only talking about the future of her career or her future in general. Whatever it was he could relate to the feeling.

Chapter 20

TWENTY

The conversation with Charlie was now barely two hours ago and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t focus on her routines like she should. And of course Lodinski noticed. He made her do routines she knew so well over and over again and she tried to give her all, but meanwhile the conversation kept playing in her head. And also the question whether or not Jon should know. How would he react, would it matter if she never told him? Her head just wouldn’t shut up and then it happened.

Even before her feet touched the ground she knew it was going to hurt. And it did. A stinging pain shot right through her and she had to press her lips together to avoid to cry out loud. She looked around if anybody noticed but luckily Lodinski was just busy correcting Veronica’s shoulder position and wasn’t looking at her. Nobody else had seen it either, but she felt it. She kept going on though, because she didn’t want to let Lodinski down even more than she already had. The pain didn’t go away anymore but it didn’t get worse either and she managed to get it through the rest of rehearsals without telling anyone what happened.

By the time she got home that night her ankle had started to swell up and it turned slightly red, but this wasn’t the first time that happened and she knew it would probably be back to normal by tomorrow. And it had to be because she couldn’t risk to miss rehearsals. Over the last few weeks Lodinski had gotten mad at her more than in the fifteen years before that and she knew she had to get her priorities straight. She was sure Jon didn’t let this situation affect his stage presence and neither should she allow that to happen. So she made a decision. She had to tell him about Charlie and leave it behind her. She put compresses on her ankle, made herself a salad for dinner and she sat down on the couch with her foot on the table in front of her. While she ate her dinner she called him. He answered immediately.

“Baby,” he said and she smiled. She just loved when he called her that and it also told her he was alone. “Hey,” she said.

“How are you?” he asked her and she looked at her ankle in front of her. “I am okay, what about you?”

“Busy,” he answered and sighed. She pictured how he would pull a hand through  his hair.

“Always busy,” she said and he nodded.

“Jon I need to tell you something,” she then said as she figured she should better get this over with quickly before she would change her mind.

“What is it? Am I in trouble?” he joked and she tried to laugh.

“No but I might be… listen this wasn’t supposed to happen but it did and I thought you should know…”

“Now I am worried,” he said and she heard in his voice that he was. And  maybe he should be.

She told him about Charlie and that he saw them and he dealt with that part alright. Which made her sigh with relief. But when he asked her what she told him he was no longer as understanding as she hoped he would be.

“What do you mean you told him everything?!” he shouted after she explained it to him.

“I couldn’t lie to him, Jon,” she said and put her plate beside her on the couch.

“Oh now you suddenly have a problem with lying to people?”

“Jon please?”

“Don’t ‘please ‘ me now,” he said. “You should never have told him Georgia, I don’t know that guy, he could be out telling everyone for all I know!”

“He is my friend, Jon I trust him.”

“I thought we agreed that nobody could know and that was for a reason Georgia, we are taking a huge risk and I believe it is worth it but I can’t have anyone else involved in this…”

She didn’t say anything anymore, he was really pissed.

“Fuck this!” he added then.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

“I bet you are but that won’t get us anywhere now will it?!”

“I guess not, but he is my friend Jon, I trust him and you should trust me.”

“I did, but this isn’t making it any easier for me… I’m starting to wonder what all this means to you anyway… It’s not a game.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t discuss this over the phone,” she tried.

“No, maybe it’s best if we end this conversation now.”

She sighed.
“I’ll call you, don’t call me, you need to think before you do, Georgia.”

“But he saw us, it’s not my fault.”

“You could have said it was a onetime thing, hell you would probably even have gotten away with saying that wasn’t me, but you chose to tell him every damn thing. That’s the problem.”

“But it was you and this isn’t just about you,” she said getting angry now as well.

“You have no commitments to anyone, Georgia, but I do and that is what this is about, I need to think about where we are going from here, I’ll call you – bye.”

“Bye,” she said, hang up before he could and threw the phone into the corner of the couch.

Yes it sure was the best decision to tell him, she thought to herself and stood up to take her plate to the kitchen. Too fast. A strong pain shot through her leg.

“Fuck you,” she yelled, frustrated. Not sure if it was directed to herself, to him or her ankle.

**

Needless to say that the next day she was thinking about it all even more than the day before. The swelling didn’t get worse but her ankle had turned slightly blue and lilac so she asked the company’s physical therapist to tape it for her and she made him promise not to tell Lodinski anything. He wasn’t too keen on that at first and he didn’t think it was a good idea to dance on it already again either but then Georgia was forced to use her secret weapon. Her looks. She flashed him a sexy smile while she swore she would go see the company doctor after rehearsals and that did the trick. Like it always did.

She managed to hide her taped ankle underneath her leg warmer and started doing warm up exercises that hurt so bad that she had to blink against tears several times. But she was sure she just had to get through the worst pain before it would get better and all would be fine. And she would rather feel this pain that tell Lodinski about her misstep, and the missteps before it that caused this particular one.

Soon after that she turned as white as a ghost and everything else went black.

When she opened her eyes again she found herself in a bed in an unfamiliar room, with Lodinski and a man standing behind her bed. It turned out they brought her to the private section of some NYC hospital, according to Lodinski. Then the doctor started to talk.

“Hey Georgia, I am doctor McQuinnes, how are you feeling?”

She took her time to think about that question before she answered it and then she shrugged her shoulders. “Alright, I think.”

The doctor nodded and asked her if she could sit up. In fact she was really feeling okay so she did what her was told and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She then saw that her foot was no longer taped and twice the size it was supposed to be. Her skin was also no longer only lilac and soft blue, but deep  purple, dark blue, green and even black.

The doctor nodded again as he followed her eyes. “Yes, that’s quite a nasty injury you got there, but I have to examine it and you have to tell me exactly what you feel.”

He started bending her foot in all possible incredibly hurtful directions.

“Yes that all hurts fucking bad,” she managed to say as she squeezed her eyes together and grabbed the mattress tight on each side of her.

She was used to pain. Straps cutting in her skin, blisters, bleeding and torn toenails happened on a weekly basis, and she also strained countless muscles before and she never complained or moaned about anything because it was part of her job. But the pain that now went through her was nothing compared to anything she felt before.

The doctor nodded his typical nod once again. “That’s what I thought. We’re going to keep you here for the night and you will have to take the summer off to rest.”

In a split second she turned her head to look at Lodinski. He hadn’t moved a bit. Maybe he already knew. Georgia started to panic.

“But I can’t, this is my job, people paid to see me, I can’t just take a whole summer off, that’s not possible.”

Lodinski sighed. “Stop it drama queen. It’s either this or go on and destroy your whole career. We can’t take any risks with you Georgia. You are taking the summer off, you are coming back for therapy with Jacque in July and we will start the rehearsals for the winter season in August. End of discussion."

Georgia couldn’t believe it. “But what about… everything?”

“What about it?” Lodinski said. “And let’s be honest, maybe you do need a little break from it all. You haven’t had a proper one in the fifteen years I know you and that is why you became who you are today, but I’d like to keep you around a little longer. Your body is protesting and you need to listen…” He looked at the doctor who nodded his head. “Doctor’s orders,” doctor McQuinnes said.

“But will I be able to walk?” she asked then.

The doctor wrote something down on his clipboard before he looked up at her. “Not for the first week or so you won’t. Then you’ll have to do with crutches but in a month or so, if you do keep your rest, you will be able to walk. That doesn’t mean you will be able to dance or do anything other than walk on it but that speaks for itself.”

She fell back in the cushions. “I think I need a moment on my own to let this sink in,” she said and Lodinski nodded. “Sure, I’ve got work to do anyway. I need to get a message out to the press and find myself a new Princess Aurora before this day is over, I will be back tonight is there anyone we can call?”

She swallowed and sighed. Yes, there was this one person, but that didn’t seem to be an option anymore. “Yasmin,” she said.

Lodinski pulled a face at her. “I know your mind might be a little clouded but she was right there when it happened, she is at your place now to get you something to read and some clean clothes for you to put on when you go home in the morning.”

“Oh that’s right…” she said and she vaguely remembered then how she passed out in the middle of rehearsals. For everyone to see. They must have had the day of their lives. 

Chapter 19

NINETEEN

“Georgia, put your hair up please, I wanna see your pretty face,” Lodinski said the minute she walked in. She walked towards her spot in the room while she rolled her hair into a quick bun and saw Veronica was looking at her via the mirrored wall in front of them.

“You have the most wonderful hair,” she said and Georgia shrugged her shoulders.

“No I don’t, I just wear it messy and make it look like I do that on purpose.” She wasn’t in the mood for small talk with the girls. Especially today. In her mind she was still playing the conversation she had with Charlie that morning. He came to see her at her house, which was something he hardly ever did and she still couldn’t believe what he told her.

She was just doing the dishes when the doorman called, asking her if she knew a man called Charlie Harvey.  She was surprised to say the least but she told him to let him up. With the towel in her hands she went to open the door for him and he was already there when she got to it.

“Jesus, did you run or something?” she said and dried her hands with the towel.

“Hi,” he said, he seemed excited and stepped alongside her to walk to the kitchen.

“I’m almost done here” Georgia said as she followed him in and walked back to the sink. “Did you end up selling many photos?” she continued and Charlie sat down at the dining table where he could face her.

“What? Oh yes, all of them, my most successful exposition yet.”

Georgia smiled, she was genuinely happy for him. “That is great.”

“It is, it is…” he said and stared at his hands in silence.

“So, you know that I have to leave for rehearsals in an hour right?” she said as she piled up the plates to put them in the cabinet, wondering what he came by for.

“Yes,” he said “but I really want to talk to you about something and I couldn’t wait so… if you will please sit down with me.”

Georgia frowned and walked towards the table. “Are you ok? Can I get you anything by the way?”

He shook his head. “Maybe later, please just sit down before I change my mind and that’s not fair to you…”

“What is not fair? What is going on?”

“Alright listen… and please promise me you won’t get mad… The other week at the sugar factory… I just sold one of your portraits to this woman and she kept asking me if she could talk to you. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t know where you were and that you would come back later but she insisted so I said to her… let me see if I can find her, so…”

Georgia felt a strange tingling in her stomach. A part of her already knew where this was going.

“So I went to look for you and I really don’t know why I did it but I climbed the stairs to the second floor and…”

Georgia stood up from her chair and turned her back at him. She didn’t want to look at her friend while he explained to her what he had seen. “O my God,” she said.

“I saw you… with him, and... Jesus, Georgia I freaked out. I didn’t know what to do but I thought you deserved to know. And I just really want to know… what the fuck is this about? Because you can’t tell me that was a first.”

Georgia walked back to the kitchen and filled a glass with water. She knew she owed him an explanation and part of her was relieved that she could finally share it with someone but she knew Jon would not be as pleased. She sat back down and looked at him. He looked worried, curious and excited. She told him the whole story from beginning to end and he didn’t interrupt her one single time. He just sat there and listened. He didn’t even move until Georgia started to tear up out of frustration, because it overwhelmed her to even talk about him.

He reached for her hand across the table and held it tight. “Georgia baby… this is so…”

“So not right,” she said and she wanted to withdraw her hand but he didn’t let her. “You aren’t supposed to know. Not you out of everyone. You’re a gossip king and a gay man.”

It was now Charlie who let go of her hand and sat back, offended. “Georgia I know you are upset but that isn’t fair. I am your friend more than I am gay and this is a serious problem.”

“What is?” she whispered.

“That you are obviously hopelessly in love with a married rock star is what I’d call a problem.”

She pulled a tortured face at him and took a sip of water. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” he simply said. “But, if there is one girl on this goddamn planet who can pull that off it’s you. I can’t blame the man for falling for you so you are not going to waste your time thinking about reasons why you shouldn’t do this.”

She looked up and couldn’t believe he said this. The one thing she wanted to hear but never thought anyone would understand. “You better use it trying to keep him instead, because from what I’ve seen it just might be worth it.”

“What?! You stayed to watch?”

He grinned at her. “Maybe just for a few seconds, c’mon you guys wouldn’t even have noticed if a bomb dropped on that building.”

Georgia couldn’t believe it but she laughed despite herself. “Charlie that is disgusting!”

He raised both his hands in defence. “It was hot!”

They talked a little longer and Georgia made him promise not to tell anyone a million times. Even though she knew he wouldn’t. She knew Charlie for over five years now and he was literally one of the very few people in her life that never let her down. Even though she was still not completely comfortable with the fact that he knew, it felt good to finally be able to talk about it.

“I don’t even know where this is going, he’s going to Europe for two months in a few weeks…”

“But he’ll be back,” Charlie said.

“Yes but I’m just so scared. I mean he told me all these things about it being different for him as well and that he needs me but why should I believe him?”

“Georgia… he is a married man with children, he has this massive career, do you really think he would still risk it all if this didn’t mean much to him? I don’t believe that and I don’t think you do either.”

She shook her head. “I guess not…”

She sighed. “But I have been broken before… even though whatever I felt for all those assholes before him was nothing compared to what I feel for him, but is this falling in love, Charlie?”

He looked at her in pity, she looked so hopeless. So not like herself.

“I’m afraid it is, girl…” he said and he pulled her up while he walked around the table.

“But it’s not fun.”

He pulled her in his arms for a hug. “It will be eventually, but if you are feeling so much that should tell you that this will all be worth it. I’m sure it won’t be a lot of fun for him either to go back to his  wife after he just fucked you. He must feel guilt and pain as well… but there’s one thing he does not feel and that is regret otherwise he wouldn’t have gone through with this, right?”

She leaned back to look at him and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “This is so fucked up…”

Charlie chuckled. “That’s what they call love, girl.”

Chapter 18

EIGHTEEN

Georgia was just preparing herself to get up from the toilet seat before someone would call for help, thinking some maniac photographer committed suicide, when her phone announced an incoming message.

‘Since we are both here… meet me on the second floor, small staircase on your right hand.’

Georgia felt how the blood rushed to her head. This was not what her parents had wished for their daughter to become, yet she knew she was going to see him, if only tell him she wasn’t going to let him do this while his wife was in the same building.

“I’m not going to have sex with you here, while… so many people are only one floor away.” She said but willingly let him push her against the brick wall of the small and dark second floor. There was nobody around and nobody would get up there for no particular reason either. There was no furniture, just a rough vintage wood floor.

She meant what she said, and knowing his wife was out there somewhere was just disgusting. But with the kiss that followed he took all excuses right out of her mouth. Just like that and it left her longing for him, while he had her exactly where he wanted.

“I’m not a slut you can just fulfil your needs on,” she tried and knew it was pointless. If there was one thing she should know by now it was that he didn’t look at her that way.

“Georgia, please…” he said. She quite liked that he was now basically begging her to have her and she smiled as she realised she could go on with this a little longer.

“What… how do I know you really want me?” she whispered and hoped he didn’t notice how she shivered as he slid his hands down her sides. Then he chuckled as he realised what she tried to do. He slid his hand up her leg, underneath her dress and inside her panties to discover her wetness.

“Damn Georgia…” he groaned as he withdrew his hand. “Does it really matter how much I want you, because you seem to want me either way…” he spoke in a low voice and she trembled, wondering how she had lost control to him so quickly, again. He kissed her before he continued.

“But for what it’s worth, I want you more than I ever thought I would or could,” he said and she looked at him, finding passion in his eyes.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” she mumbled and kicked of her boots. He pulled her closer with his fingers around her belt and she fumbled with the button on his black jeans. Her belt landed on the floor with a bump. He pushed her dress up and her lace panties down. She kicked them aside and followed him to the floor as he sat down.

She cried out loud as he entered her and started to move on top of him. The noise from all the people that were talking downstairs came from very far away as they made love on the hard floor in the dark. He groaned as he laid his hands on her hips for extra support and enjoyed the view of her bouncing up and down on top of him, her dress only covering her breasts. The breasts he wanted to free real bad. He reached out for the clasp on her bra and opened it, pushed her dress up higher and he cupped her breasts in his hands. She leaned in to kiss him and when she buried her face in his neck he heard her breathing heavily. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against him. She started to tremble and moaned loudly, uncontrollably. He had almost forgotten what it was like to watch her come with him inside of her. It felt so good. She tensed her muscles around him and cried out his name, which triggered his own climax.

They sat together then, while the rumour downstairs reminded them of the fact that they had to be very careful, and that what they had done was ridiculously risky. Georgia reached for her panties without moving away from his chest and pulled them on. He leaned back to push his trousers and boxers back up and Georgia lifted herself a little to let him. When he sat up again he wrapped her belt around her waist. She rested her forehead against his while he rested his arms on her small shoulders and she closed her eyes for a moment, still feeling lightheaded.

“I’m gonna call you as soon as I can and it won’t be like this next time, I promise,” he whispered and she smiled, her eyes still closed. He felt her smile more than he could see it.

“I kind of liked it,” she said and he laughed softly.

“Then imagine what it will be like when we have all the time in the world.” She didn’t want to ruin the moment by asking how exactly he thought that would ever happen so she just nodded and chose to believe him.

“I can’t wait…” she whispered.

“Me neither baby,” he kissed her softly.

“We better go now,” she said then and she heard the reluctance in her own voice. Sharing this with him made her remember again why she believed it was worth it. She wanted to stay with him, lay in bed with him, have sex with him, talk to him and eventually fall asleep in his arms again. In had been weeks since that happened and this only made the longing for that kind of intimacy stronger. She stood up and he followed.

****

She wiped away a tear from her cheek roughly, as she walked down the small stairs seconds later. It wasn’t guilt this time that made her feel so upset. It was the fact that she had to leave him behind, and the fact that she got herself involved in this kind of relationship. It was so intense and so wrong. The moment she mingled with the rest of the visitors again, all she wanted to do was go home. She looked around but didn’t see Charlie anywhere so she decided to text him on the way home. Downstairs she grabbed her coat and left. The last cab that had been waiting in front of the building just drove off when she came outside and she didn’t want to waste time waiting so she decided to walk instead.

Jon waited another five minutes after Georgia left. Not willing to go down just yet. He felt guilt, but not as strong as he should be feeling it. He didn’t want to face his wife, minutes after Georgia had given him an orgasm like his wife hadn’t done for years. He just wanted to hold Georgia in his arms and watch her fall asleep and that was what he felt guilty for. Dorothea deserved better than that. She was the most amazing woman and he loved her. She had been there when he was at his lowest and she had been there when things were going really well. She kept him grounded. But it was different with Georgia. Everything was different when he was with Georgia. And it wasn’t just the excitement of the forbidden. The things he felt for her went way beyond that, and if it wasn’t going to change he knew he would have to choose. And people would get hurt, really bad no matter what.

When he eventually walked down the stairs Dorothea was right there, looking for him. He smiled.

“What were you doing up there, I thought it was just these two floors?” she said and he nodded.

“Phone call, thought I’d better go somewhere where I could actually understand what it was about.” She believed him. Of course she did. He hadn’t given her a reason not to trust him for years.

That night he lied awake for hours. Thinking through his options. When they came home that night, their youngest son had still been awake. The nanny told him he refused to go to sleep until daddy had come to kiss him good night. As he held that tiny little hand in his and looked into the big innocent eyes of his son, he decided that no matter what he would decide, it all had to wait and he knew Georgia would understand. She didn't seem to have much trouble with him being married before and he had no choice. His babies put all their trust in him, and he could never let them down.

Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

Jon was in town for most op April, because they had almost a full month off touring but that didn’t mean he wasn’t busy with whatever rock stars could be busy with in their time off. Georgia herself also realised for the first time how busy her own life really was. They spent weeks trying to see each other but in the meantime all they got done was telephone sex and a lot of dirty texts. And even though she had to admit they were pretty good at that, it was far from satisfying. It was therefore extra ironic that they eventually managed to run in to each other unplanned.

One warm afternoon in late April Georgia walked to the subway after satisfying rehearsals and she passed the old sugar factory. A beautiful old stone building that was often used for expositions and art exhibitions that Georgia loved to visit. Her attention was dragged towards a piece of paper on the heavy doors that announced an exposition by New York City’s best photographers. While she read the info she suddenly remembered a voicemail she had forgotten about until then. A friend of hers, Charlie Harvey, was exhibiting a series of portraits he shot of her while she had been rehearsing for Swan Lake, last winter. When he first took the photos he didn’t mean to do anything with it. It was just for fun, because he was waiting for her to finish as they were going out for a drink or something. But then they turned out to be impressively good and he decided that was what he wanted to show on this exhibition. Tonight was the official opening and he invited her a week or so earlier. And she knew she had to show up because it would mean the world to him. The poster told her she was expected at seven. It was now four, so if she wanted to be there on time she had to hurry. Once again.

As she squeezed herself inside the crowded train she managed to get her phone out to call Charlie. She apologized and told him she was going to be there.

“Thank God, I was so stressed out, I would have looked like a complete fool if the star of my portraits wouldn’t even be there to be extremely positive about me,” he said and she felt really guilty. She had always been chaotic and unorganised and it wouldn’t have been the first time that she unintentionally let someone down. She apologised a thousand times more and Charlie kept saying he didn’t care as long as she would be there. She hung up and promised herself she should really try to be a better friend for the few people that she had left in life.

Before she went home she got herself a take-away noodle meal and ate that at the dining table quickly, as she tried to decide what she was going to wear this time. As far as she knew there was no dress code and definitely no Jon Bon Jovi to impress, so she decided a simple dress would do.

She eventually picked a clinging long-sleeved  taupe mini dress and teamed it with a black studded belt low on her waist. She put on black biker boots and straightened her hair. As she looked in the mirror, ready to go at around 20 to 7, she decided she looked artistic enough to attend the event.  

The street in front of the factory was really crowded when she got out of the cab. She stepped aside to let other guests go first as she searched for the invitation in her purse. When she found it, the lady at the door who checked her named on a clipboard, gave her a brochure and a map with artists and matching numbers. Inside Georgia handed her leather jacket to a clerk and searched for Charlie on the map. His portraits had a prominent place on the right side of the first floor of the building and it was impossible to miss it, once she climbed the stairs. Charlie waved at her from a distance as soon as he saw her and she smiled.  She met Charlie in a club years ago, before he admitted he was actually gay and tried to get her attention. He was a really attractive guy though and definitely a little different and mysterious, like most creative people. Tonight he wore black skinny jeans, pointy black varnished shoes and an oversized tartan patterned blazer. He was talking to someone and excused himself. “Georgia, honey I am so glad to see you here, you look gorgeous as always.” Then he turned to point at the man he had been talking to. “And I just sold another of your portraits to that man over there. He’s a fan of my work and his wife used to be a ballerina,” he explained excitedly and Georgia smiled.

They never officially went out because Georgia was eventually the first one he turned to to admit he was gay. In fact, he told her she was the reason why he found out. Because, he said: “If I can’t even get myself to have sex with you, I can’t be heterosexual.” And that had become the start of their friendship. They didn’t see each other a lot but Georgia always loved to meet up with him.

“Am I allowed to walk around, or do you expect me to stand here and smile at your potential costumers all evening?” she said and he pressed a kiss on her cheek.

“No go and be beautiful, but try to tell people about my work whenever you can!” Georgia turned around to look at the people getting together in front of his photos. “Doesn’t seem like you need my help with that, but I’ll try my best sweetie.”

***

She stood only two portraits away from his wife and him when he saw her. She looked gorgeous in a curve hugging dress that showed him a lot of that precious white skin of hers. He knew that it would only be a matter of seconds before she would look up and see him and all he could think of was that his wife was holding his hand. The photos they had been looking at were amazing and he was just about to see if he could talk to the photographer when he found her instead. He excused himself from his wife, who was still looking at their favourite piece and walked over to her.

She seemed mesmerized by a photo of the Northern Lights and didn’t notice him until he put a hand on her shoulder. She turned around with a smile and he saw the shock in her eyes when she recognised him. It was the first time they saw each other in real life since that evening in the car and he now knew he still wasted a lot of timing hoping the feeling would go away eventually. Despite what he told her that night he still tried to fight it silently. He was a slow learner.

“What the hell are you here for?!” was how she greeted him that night and he chuckled.

“It’s nice to see you too,” he replied and she looked down for a second. “Sorry.”

He shook his head and looked at his wife from the corner of his eye. She hadn’t seen him yet.

“It’s okay, this wasn’t exactly the way I imagined our next meeting would be like.”

“So you had fantasies about that, hadn’t you?” she said. He smiled and wisely chose to ignore that comment.

She didn’t know what else to say but who could blame her for feeling just a little overwhelmed. The fact that he showed up in public, completely unexpected had shocked her to say the least. It was weird to be with him amongst all those people while there was so much going on between the two of them that nobody could ever know of. This wasn’t Chicago where hotel walls could keep them safe and neither would the blinded windows  of one of his expensive cars. This was real life. And before either of them could say another thing a tall dark haired woman showed up beside him.

Georgia didn’t need any introduction to know who she was, and as she looked at him she knew she was right.

Alright, she thought, you said real life? Here you have it. Meanwhile she told herself to keep breathing and she smiled at the woman. Georgia didn’t know what to think of her, when she googled his pictures she hadn’t paid attention to what his wife looked like. Too painful, but she was definitely pretty although also certainly of his age. She had long dark hair and wore a decent modest dress. Somehow not what she expected to be his wife, but on the other hand, it would have been really creepy if he was married to a look-a-like of herself. And she had to admit they looked great together.

As she thought all those things nobody said anything and then Jon seemed to have gotten himself back together. He straightened his back and looked at his wife.

“Dorothea, this is Georgia Wilde, Georgia, this is Dorothea my… wife.”

Georgia felt sick to her stomach as the tall woman reached out her hand and made her grab it.

“Nice to meet you,” she managed to say and when Dorothea looked away then, she pulled a tortured face at Jon. Judging on the look in his eyes he didn’t seem to feel much better about himself either. However, while all Georgia wanted to do was disappear, Jon decided he had to keep the conversation going.

“So, Georgia, what are you here for? Any particular artists?” She hated him at that moment. And she hated herself. This woman had no clue, who did they think they were?

“I love expositions in general,” she said, “but I am here on invitation tonight. One of the photographers exhibits a series of photos we did together.”

When Jon looked at her she saw the surprise in his eyes. If they were alone she would have definitely made a comment about it but now that would have only been inappropriate. As far as Dorothea knew she was just one of those thousands of people he happened to know, and although that hurt, it was better to keep it that way. Meanwhile Dorothea decided to make it worse.

“I would love to see those,” she said.

“It’s right across the hall, the name of the photographer is Charlie Harvey, he’s a friend of mine,” she said wishing they would at least leave.

“We are here on invitation as well. One of my friends has an exposition too,” Dorothea continued, while meanwhile Georgia could no longer ignore the tension rising to a whole different level between her and Jon. It was almost impossible that the wife didn’t notice anything, but nothing on her betrayed anything. Georgia was really disgusted with herself at that moment. The brunette seemed so happy with that man while she had fucked him like she never fucked anyone before.

“Oh really, who is it?” she said and promised herself she was going to kill Charlie if he happened to be that friend of the woman who was still holding the hand of her…

… she stopped herself. Yes, Georgia, your what? Stay focussed for fuck’s sake.

“Patricia Adams,” the wife answered and Georgia sighed relieved while she reminded herself  of the fact that this wasn’t some kind of cheap novel where coincidences like that could happen all the time.

“Alright well,” she said then, “have a great time. I’m gonna go downstairs to check out some other artists. There are some very talented photographers exhibiting this time, don’t you think?” she said and wondered why the hell she was talking so much, out of a sudden. The wife agreed with her, Jon just stood there and nodded.

“Nice to see you Georgia,” he said and was able to give it a little more meaning than anyone else would notice.

She watched them walk away and turned around to go downstairs, straight to the bathroom, to lock herself there.

While Jon and his wife made their way over to where Georgia’s photos were, Dorothea looked up at him and asked who she was. “Georgia Wilde,” he repeated and thought it was best to only answer the questions she really asked. “Where do you know her from?”

Jon wondered if he was allowed to wonder if Dorothea was being suspicious. The answer would probably be no.

“We met at the benefit in Chicago, you know for the Soul Foundation she is a ballet dancer and we had a little chat.”

Alright so, that wasn’t a lie, but just not the whole truth either. It were just the most important and disturbing bits that were missing.

While they stood and looked at an impressive series of black and white photos of her, he decided there was no chance of him going to heaven anymore. He took his wife to an exhibition with photos of his mistress, and whatever else she was to him at that point. He couldn’t even find the words to describe how wrong that really was.

“These are amazing, she must be talented,” Dorothea concluded and looked at him. All he could do was nod, uncertain of what his voice would sound like if he spoke. He stared at the picture they were standing in front of at that moment. She was dressed in a leotard and a tutu above wool legwarmers around which she had wrapped the silk ribbons of her shoes. She curved her back and balanced on the tip of her toes while her arms were arched above her head. She was looking away from the camera so all he could see was the messy bun on top of her head and the outlines of the face he already knew so well.

Even looking at the picture was enough to make him long for her. It had been weeks since he last touched that body. He felt the pressure of Dorothea’s hand in his.

“Her gracefulness is impressive, we should go see her perform sometime?” his wife dragged him back to reality and he looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t even like ballet,” he mumbled and she looked at him. “You seemed to do when Tico and Alejandera took us to see Swan Lake last year.”

Tico was that kind of man. He loved every kind of art and was always interested in discovering the undiscovered. When Jon eventually accepted his invitation for the NYC ballet it was the music that made him do so, but now he thought about it, there was a good chance that Georgia had performed in that piece.

“I only said that to please them,” he mumbled and pulled at her hand.

“C’mon, let’s see some more.”

Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

“No limousine, you let me down…” she said as she sat down in the backseat of the black BMW that had been waiting for them in front of the hotel. He joined her and chuckled. “You deserve better than that and hell, so do I.”

He pressed a button on the panel in the door beside him and a blinded screen separated them from the driver. Georgia had given him the address of her apartment before they stepped in to the car. She expected that it would take them up to thirty minutes at this hour on a Friday night.

“So…” she said knowing that it was really just the two of them now. “That wasn’t awkward at all.” He stretched his legs in front of him and laid one of his arms over the back of the crème leather chair. In the meantime she stayed as close to the door on her side as she could, just to keep a distance between them. But it was impossible to ignore him in this small space. He laughed and in the silence that followed he looked at her and she looked back.

“So tell me Georgia what have you been up to since I last saw you?”

 “Rehearsals mostly,” she said. She could have asked him the same question but she knew he was still on tour and was going to be for a while. She checked their schedule a few days ago, just out of curiosity and learned that they were heading for Europe early June, to stay there until the end of July. So she didn’t ask it. Instead she decided there was something else she needed to know.

“When you said you missed me…” she looked at him hopelessly and he was looking back at her with a more serious face then she expected. He did not even chuckle. “Did I mean it?” he finished her question. She nodded her head. “Yes, Georgia I meant it. Listen… this ain’t easy for me but it seems that I want you around for some reason.”

He managed to grab her hand because she was distracted by his words and she let him hold it.

“You don’t even know me,” she threw back at him. While she spoke he started caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I want you to let me know you,” he replied.

She turned her body at him now, and could barely sit still. He said the words she had been dying to hear, but never thought he would say. She had never been so scared in her life.

“I’m not sure I can, Jon… because I can’t handle if you will leave me after a while and we both know you will.” 

He suddenly withdrew his hand and the glance in his eyes hardened.

“You know what’s so funny about you Georgia?” He roughly pulled a hand through his hair, she had already learned he did that when he was frustrated.

“You are so busy hiding yourself from me and the world but in the meantime you believe that you know exactly what everybody else is like. Does it even occur to you that you might be wrong? Because truth is you don’t seem to know shit about me 'cause if you did you would have seen it.” He sighed. She remained silent, all she wanted was for him to continue. Nobody had ever spoken to her like this.

“You would have seen how I struggled to keep you away but it’s safe to say that I lost and believe me, losing is not something I am good at. But if losing in this case means being with you, then I might be able to accept it but you have to let me in.”

“Are you saying… you want to be with me?” she whispered.

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, hell I ain’t even sure if it’s going to be a lot of fun but I do know that I don’t want to live my life knowing that you are still out there somewhere, finding yourself someone new.”

A long silence followed. Minutes passed and Georgia looked out of the window. She could hear him breathe and at first she waited for him to say something else but he didn’t He was done. It was her time to talk. She saw that they were stuck in traffic on 5^th avenue.

“I am never looking for someone, Jon…” she whispered and she forced herself to look at him. Despite that his face was mainly covered in darkness she could still see the intensity in his eyes. “I always believed that someday I would meet someone and just know... you know... that it was right, but it was not supposed to be you.”

“Right place, right time…” he mumbled. “I guess that means I did something right…”

Then she smiled and he smiled back. He reached out his hand to her again and she laid hers in it this time. He pulled her towards him and she crawled on his lap, pulling her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder. He had one of his hands on her back again and she sighed softly. There was nothing in between them anymore. They had finally said it. It took them long but they had at least used that time trying to fight it. Georgia had a feeling that somehow that would make it easier for her to accept who he was. A married man with children, more than anything else.

“You did a lot right I’m just not the kind of girl that tells you all the time,” she whispered and he tilted his head to face her, he looked amused.

“You know... It would be nice if you did every once in a while…”

“We’ll see…” At that point all that mattered to her that there was a ‘every once in a while’ for them and hopefully a whole lot in between.

Then she felt how he grabbed her dress thigh high and started to scoop it upwards with his fingers, slowly. “I can’t go home with you tonight Georgia,” he said as he revealed the skin on her legs and drew a soft line across it with his finger. She shrugged her shoulders and sat up.

“I believe I got another twenty minutes spare…” She turned and put a leg on each side of him, making her dress slide up even further. They started to kiss and she realised how much she missed his taste and those lips. She could feel him grow harder beneath her inside his tight jeans and she tugged at the buttons. He pushed one of his hands up her right leg and groaned appreciative when he discovered she wasn’t wearing panties. “I’m glad I only just discovered this…” he whispered hoarsely.

With Georgia still on top of him Jon lifted himself up and Georgia tugged at his jeans before she reached down to his erection that grew even harder in her hands. Georgia was aware of the fact that the car pulled up and that they were moving but she had a feeling they wouldn’t need long anyway.

With his hands on her hips Jon assisted her as Georgia lifted herself above him in the small space. She held her hands on his shoulders, where her fingers touched the already sweaty hairs in his neck. He positioned himself underneath her and she kept focus on his eyes as she lowered herself on and eventually around him.

He pushed the back of his head against the headrest,giving her a perfect view of his beautiful jawline, and his lips parted.

“Jesus, Georgia,” he groaned and she held still for a moment to enjoy the feeling of having him inside of her completely. Georgia felt a drop of sweat rolling down the side of her face. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her breathing was unsteady.

Then she lifted herself up again, slowly, very slowly and she shuddered. “oh my God,” she said breathlessly and she continued to move.

Sweat started to spread across their foreheads and he tightened the grip on her hips as minutes passed and they slowly build up towards a climax.
"Now..." she whispered. "You are doing it right..." He chuckled and pushed his hips up against hers. She moaned softly in his ear.

“Shit, I missed fucking you,” he groaned and it were his words that pushed her over the edge.

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his shoulder and she fell and fell, while he thrust himself inside of her one last time before he came as well.

They didn't move for minutes while he felt aftershocks going through her body as she pressed it against his. He held her tightly in his arms. When she sat back up she leaned with her back against the blinded window that separated them from the rest of the world. He stroke a few strings of sweaty hair away from her forehead. He was still inside of her and still hard.

After a while he smiled one of those gorgeous smiles and shook his head. As if he found it hard to believe what had just happened, and to be fair, so did she.

She never thought it could be better than the first time but he had just proven her wrong.

A sudden knock on the screen behind her then broke the spell. Georgia lifted herself and she gasped when he slid out of her. Before Jon could say or do anything she shove herself off his lap, back on the empty seat beside him and tried to put her dress back in its place. But it seemed that it was easier to pull it up than to get it back down. Jon had already pressed the button beside him again and the screen was slowly coming down. Georgia’s dress was only covering half of her legs by the time they were in full contact with the driver again but she decided to leave it that way. Her trying to tug it down would look way more suspicious.

“I think we have just arrived at miss Wilde’s apartment,” the driver whose name already slipped her mind again said. 

Georgia looked out of the window and saw that he had pulled over in front of her building. Her head was still hazy and she doubted if her legs were steady enough to carry her but she had no choice. She had to get out and he had to go home. 

With her hand already on the door handle she looked at him. Suddenly feeling as if she ended up in some bad b-movie.

“You better get out of here now or i'll never let you leave,” he said and Georgia looked at the driver. “Don’t worry about him, he doesn’t do kiss and tell.” The driver in the meantime did a pretty good job pretending he couldn’t hear or see them.

“I’ll call you” he said.

She pulled a face at him. “You better.”

“If you paid attention to anything that just happened in here you know I will, and I won’t need another month” he said smiled and irrestible smile and added: “C’mere give me a kiss.”

Half a minute later she stood on the pavement, watching as the car pulled up and disappeared. Her head was spinning and her legs felt weak. But she was smiling. Even though she should have a thousand reasons to stop this. But despite everything she had a feeling that it was all going to be worth it.

**

if you just read this would you please be so kind to leave a comment below? I don't care what you write I'd just love to know who are (still) reading my story xx

Chapter 15

FIFTEEN

Georgia was usually very thankful for every piece of designer clothing she was allowed to keep after premiers and other special occasions. But tonight she hated it. She looked desperately at the pile of dresses beside her on her bed. All together they were worth more than the cheque that would be presented to Jon that night and still she felt that not a single one was good enough for her to wear. And there was no-one she could call for advice, because admitting that she wanted to look her best for Jon was not an option. She even had a hard time accepting it herself.

Then she remembered a Naeem Khan dress she fell in love with at a fitting a few months ago. She tried it on and everybody loved it so much on her that the designer refused to take it back.  Until then she had never found the perfect occasion to wear the shimmering silver dress but tonight just might be that one moment. She rose from the bed to unzipped the garment back and revealed the dress. It was just a gorgeous as she remembered. A floor sweeping gown covered with glittering silver beading. It had  short sleeves and an open back. When she put it on and looked at herself in the mirror she knew this was the one. She styled her hair in a side-swept wavy hairstyle and only applied some eyeliner and mascara on her eyes and a soft matte red colour on her lips. After all, while it took her hours to make decisions she was now ready within twenty minutes.

She shared a cab with Lodinski and Martha Bachman. And the more Lodinski praised her for her looks the more annoyed Bachman seemed to become. Georgia didn’t believe Bachman really liked her anyway. Maybe she was jealous because she never managed to turn in to the successful dancer she wanted to become while Georgia did. But Georgia didn’t care. She knew she was looking good that night, and she had to.

When they arrived at the Plaza hotel they were led to a private room where Jon and his people were waiting. She shook hands with the man and the woman he brought, but didn’t even hear their names. The woman was his press lady, she remembered that. Then she watched him shake hands with Lodinski and he bend over to Martha to plant a kiss on each cheek. Georgia could swear she saw her blush when Jon stepped aside. Her way. He wasn't dressed up at all and was wearing a pair of tight blue jeans and a simple black button-down shirt with rolled up sleeves, just like the first time she saw him. And she loved him for it. He grabbed both her hands with his and pulled her closer towards him to plant a soft kiss on her cheek. Too close to her mouth not to mean anything. It brought her back to that night immediately and when he leaned in to whisper in her ear she trembled. For a moment they were alone in the room.

“Damn Georgia,…” his fingers traced a path across her bare back. “There’s only so much I can handle…”

Then he pulled back and smiled at their company. He had no other choice because this was only supposed to be a formal greeting between two people that hardly knew each other, in the eyes of their company.

The press lady folded her hands and suggested that they should all get together to present the cheque and get the photo opportunity over with. It wasn’t until then that Georgia realised that a few photographers were waiting patiently in another corner of the room.

Lodinski magically got a big cheque out from somewhere and Georgia could tell Jon was genuinely pleased when the huge amount of money was revealed to them. They got together for a photo and all that time Jon’s hand remained low on her back, spreading warmth across her body. Georgia smiled a seductive smile at the camera but all she was thinking about was that hand. And the fact that a picture of them together was about to go all around the country.

The photo opportunity only took five minutes. Then the photographers had to leave and it was down to just the six of them at the table plus some host who pulled chairs back and poured them glasses of champagne.

In the past few days when she thought about this night, and she thought about it a lot, she always pictured him sitting opposite her at the table. She imagined how he would flash her a meaningful look or two that would make her feel uncomfortable. And that he, worst case scenario, would touch her foot with his but the more she thought about it the more she started to believe that she would be able to handle that. Not one single time had she pictured him right where he was sitting now. Beside her, with his knee warm against hers. And she could feel that he was looking at her a lot. More than he should, definitely more than she could handle.

She tried to ignore the overwhelming tension she felt between them by listening to the conversations her people and his people were having, but she never really found a chance to participate. She couldn’t focus. All she felt was his knee against hers and then, when he was sure nobody was looking at them, the palm of his hand hot on her upper leg. It burned right through the fabric of her dress and she swallowed hard. He squeezed, she gasped, their company looked, Jon pulled away.

Georgia desperately longed for the moment where someone would bring them their menu so she could hide behind it, focus on something… but then six waiters came in to present them their starters. No menu, but a special dinner prepared just for them by one of the best chefs in New York, Lodinski proudly explained.

Jon smiled kindly but when he was sure everybody was too busy accepting food and thanking waiters he leaned in to Georgia. “I hate when people decide things for me. What if I get one thing while I want something else… really bad.”

Georgia choked on her champagne which only drew everyone’s attention towards her. She could hear Jon chuckle when he patted her on her back and she hated herself. Why was it so hard to keep control around that man?

She knew the answer to that question though. The main reason was that she couldn’t keep control because he needed to have it. Beside that he was really good at it and to make it worse he was so beautiful, and that voice, it was the reason that no matter what he said, it sounded sexy and sexual. The thing was though, that basically everything  he said to her so far was meant to sound that way. Seconds later Jon was still gently rubbing her back and she turned her head at him.

“I’m fine now, thanks,” she said to make him stop. “And I think you need that hand to eat your food before it gets cold,” she added.

“I don’t think anything in this room is getting cold tonight,” he said and looked directly at her. That confirmed for her that he felt it too. The tension. So strong that she wondered if everybody else could feel it as well. And they were getting a questionable look or two at that point.

And he must have seen it because that was when he stopped doing it. He focussed on his meal, talked to Martha and Lodinski while Georgia was forced to speak to his press lady and the man he brought. They asked her about the benefit and what they did to raise so much money and Georgia could hardly remember a thing. All that came back to her when she thought about that particular night was how they discussed the option of having sex for the first time. But she managed to come up with something to keep them entertained. By the time the main course was served everybody was talking to everybody and it was the perfect opportunity for Georgia to keep her mouth shut. She wasn’t good at small talk with people she barely knew but she was very good at pretending to be interested in what other people told her. And people usually bought it, but she had a feeling Jon could see right through her.

At one point he leaned in to confirm that feeling: “You look bored as hell, for someone that is supposed to be the spokesperson of the New York City Ballet you suck at keeping an act up. That pretty smile of yours might be enough to please them but you ain’t fooling me.”

She put her napkin on her plate and straightened her back. “Are you saying you could teach me how to become a better liar?”

He chuckled… “Hell… there are so many things I could teach you if you let me...”

Once again she had a feeling he was talking about something completely different and she looked aside, right into those bright blue eyes. And she saw it again. Exactly what she had seen when she let him undress her. And to make it worse he added: “I missed you Georgia.”

All she could do was flash him a tortured look and she pushed her chair back.

“If you will excuse me for a second, I’ll be right back,” she said and escaped to the toilets.

She missed him too, more than he would ever know but she did not think for a single moment that he would tell her the same thing. That wasn’t part of the plan. This story was not supposed to continue. 

When she walked away everybody at the table was looking at her, which gave him the perfect opportunity to do the same.

Kayleigh, his press woman, was the first to mention it. “She is absolutely stunning in that dress,” she said and sighed. She’s even better without it. The words were on Jon’s lips, he wanted to say them but he swallowed them right on time. But Kayleigh was right. She had been gorgeous in his memory but when she showed up tonight looking like she did, he had been impressed all over again. And every single time he looked at her that night it was as if he saw her for the first time,  looking more beautiful every damn time.

Over the last month she had been on his mind a lot, but he decided that he probably turned her in some kind of myth she would never be able to live up to in real life. As if he turned her in to this perfect creature she couldn’t possibly be. But now he got to spent the evening with her again he saw that she indeed wasn’t like he remembered her. She was even better. And he had missed how they bounced off each other and that he knew exactly what to say to make her feel uncomfortable but that she would still always have the perfect answer ready anyway. When she crossed the room after she returned he made a decision. He had to see her alone that night before she would be gone again.

The opportunity came quickly, when everybody was getting ready to leave, Lodinski asked her if she planned on taking a cab home. She said yes and he knew that was his moment to step in. “I have a spare seat in the backseat of my car, I’ll ask my driver to drive this beautiful lady home.” It was an announcement and he did not wait for her reaction. Although he was certain that she wouldn’t have turned it down.

They just had to figure out what they got themselves into in Chicago. And if it would still be there if it would be down to just the two of them again.

Chapter 14

FOURTEEN

The next day Georgia and the company went home. She was tired and broken, but more than anything she was glad she could finally leave the hotel. The place where it happened, the room where they slept on her couch together, the bed where they had sex in only a few doors down the hall. She longed for home, a place where everything would be normal again and where it would be easier to forget. But it seemed as if they were everywhere, even back in New York. Songs on the radio, tour advertisements in the papers, even one of his goddamn movies on television. And she even tried Googling him, but when two pictures of him and his wife popped up amongst the first twenty hits she decided that was not a smart thing to do.

So to forget she concentrated on rehearsals. They were doing Sleeping Beauty this summer and even though she had done that piece a million times before, she managed to push herself to another level. Every morning she was the first to arrive and at night she was the last to leave. Because at home there was no one and that, for the first time in her life meant there was silence. No matter how high she turned up the volume on her radio or tv. For the first time in her life she really hated that there was no one she could share her life with.

There wasn’t even anyone she could talk to about her feelings, whatever they were. She had been very close to telling Yasmin a couple of times, but then she remembered how starstruck her friend had been in the lobby that day and that was enough to stop her. She just couldn’t take the risk, because if anyone found out it could get him in some serious trouble.

It was early April, almost a month since Chicago when Lodinski asked her to come to his office after rehearsals. That wasn't usually a good thing but Georgia knew for sure that he admired her new found dedication, even though he could never guess the reason behind it, so it had to be about something else.

When she walked in he sat behind his tacky polished wooden desk that was probably supposed to make him look even more powerful and mighty then he already was. He pointed at the dark blue velvet chair on the other side and she sat down on it. Not comfortable to be alone in a room with him. The amount of times he had tried to hit on her in that place…

“Georgia, I don’t have much time so I’ll keep it short. The thing is that we finally know how much our benefit raised in Chicago the other month and we invited Jon Bon Jovi and some of his people over for dinner at the Plaza on Friday and I expect you to keep me company as you seemed to get along with him at the benefit.”

He pulled a meaningful face at her and for a moment Georgia believed he knew everything. But then she realised she had other things to worry about. Dinner with hím in a few days, for example.

“What day is it?” she asked, not able to think of a better question.

“It’s Wednesday Georgia, and you better show up, this is not an invitation you can turn down, I demand that you will be there, it is part of your position. You are the face of the New York City Ballet.”

Georgia raised a hand to stop him. She knew all this but even so he loved to remind her.

“Who else is coming?”

He shrugged his shoulders and sighed as if she annoyed him with her questions. “You, me, Martha Bachman, Jon Bon Jovi and I believe he’s bringing two of his people. And we also invited some photographers for when we present the cheque to him, of course.” 

Even though he hadn’t told her to go, she pushed her chair back and stood up. Dinner for six, she thought and tried to picture them at a table together with four people who had no clue of what happened between him and her.

“Well, I just hope we raised a whole lot of money then,” she said as she walked to the door. He didn’t stop her.

“Two million dollars should be enough to get him out of bloody Jersey, shouldn’t it Georgia?”

It was and she knew it. And despite the fact that she already dreaded to see him, she kind of liked that he had to spend dinner with her, because that would force him to think about her again. 

Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

Georgia drove back to the hotel in one of the busses but she stayed outside a little longer to finish her cigarette. When she eventually walked in she noticed there was a something going on further down the lobby. She didn’t give it much thought at first but when she headed for the stairs, the group was blocking the elevators, she started to spot more and more of the girls from her group. Literally everyone was there. They were either talking hysterically or they tried to get closer to a few men. Her heart skipped a beat when she realised who they were and then she wished she never came in.

“George? Georgia!” it was Yasmin calling her name and Georgia knew there was no way she could escape now. “Where the hell have you been, come here you'll never believe what just happened to me,” she said. Meanwhile Georgia tried to get as far away from the crowd as she could. She wasn’t prepared to see him again. Not like this anyway. She knew he said that he would probably still be around when she got back, but she was later than expected and it looked like they were just on their way out. Or trying to, since her lovely ballet friends were making it impossible for them. If only she would have been thirty minutes later…

“Oh God, George, he is so hot, I know we aren’t supposed to behave like this anymore, I mean I am turning twenty-four next month but even mrs. Bachman had her picture taken with all of them.” Yasmin went on for  five minutes about Jon Bon Jovi’s hotness and when she was finally done a few other girls joined them to start it all over again. Jon was so hot, Jon was so sexy, Jon was so perfect. 

Perfection that she had felt all over her body only last morning. She couldn’t believe what happened. Even if she hadn’t had sex with him this whole situation would have been awful. The girls were hysterical, even Yasmin. When one of the girls started talking about Jon’s lips that was about the limit for Georgia. She was now very close to telling them everything about those lips, and the fact that what his mouth had done to her would go far beyond their wildest dreams.

They stayed around to try to convince her to go over for a picture as well but then they gave up and left her alone to drool over the rock stars again. Georgia sat down on the stairs, looking at the scene in front of her for a moment. She knew she could also go up to her room now, but this would probably be her last chance to look at him. 

In all her life she had shared her bed and body with more men than was good for her, but she had never really fallen in love. She didn’t think that was what she felt for Jon either though. Because what she felt for him wasn’t fun, and it didn’t make her happy. It did last night, when she let herself be with him, but now she knew that she would probably never see him again it hurt. She was afraid, terrified. Nothing bubbly and fun about it. She had known it from the start, if she would let him come too close, there would be no turning back. And she was sure that it wouldn’t be a problem for him. She was just added to a long list and he would not think about her again. But she was not sure she could do that. Forget him. She buried her face in her hands and rested them on her knees. Damn Georgia, what have you done?

He saw her before she probably even figured out what was going on. He knew that because he had seen the look on her face change from dreamy to an hilarious kind of shocked. The way she tried to sneak up the stairs before her friends kidnapped her made him smile. She wore white tights and a lilac leotard underneath a black zipped hoodie. She put her hair together in some loose roll at the back of her head and it gave her a very classical, almost divine, look that made him want to drag her back to his bed all over again. But, he forcefully reminded, It’s good that you are leaving Jonny. She now sat on the stairs alone, away from everything and there was no way he could go over to give her the goodbye she deserved. He was too busy posing for pictures with her teammates, or whatever they were called, who acted at least ten years younger than Georgia, and themselves, probably. From the corner of his eye he saw that Richie had seen her as well, and he felt a sting of jealousy. He had to make clear, one way or another, that he would never share that girl with anyone.

“Georgia, Georgia?!.... earth to Georgia!” when Georgia finally looked up she saw Caroline, another soloist, standing in front of her. She was waving her hands about an inch away from where Georgia buried her face in her hands. “Geez, what the hell were you thinking about, we are going to get some dinner at the restaurant and you are coming. The rock stars are leaving…”

She sighed as she stepped away from the stairs and was too late to spot him, obviously on his way to walk right alongside her.

“Yeah, Georgia, what were you thinking?” he said and gave her a meaningful glance right before he disappeared through the blinded doors to the street. Into a van and to the airport, away from her. Before he did he turned around at her one last time and she used that moment to pull a tortured face at him. She saw him laugh because he knew he just got her in trouble and then he was gone.

Which was basically the perfect description of their week together.

“Oh my God do you know him?!” Caroline literally screamed out loud the moment he was gone.

“Do I know him?! Caroline seriously? Yes we met at the benefit but I don’t know him,” she said and prayed to God that it did not sound too theatrical. “Well the weirdest thing is that I would not even have been surprised if you got to know him since then,” Yasmin, said. But then she also saved her from the awkward situation as she hooked her arm through Georgia’s and pulled her towards the restaurant. Caroline followed them.

“Okay, sorry it’s stupid but he said your name!”

“Well yeah,” Georgia said looking over her shoulder. “I think every single guest in this hotels knows my name now…” Caroline shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry…”

Georgia shook her head, anything to change the subject. “Don’t be…”

As Caroline followed Yasmin and Georgia to the restaurant she thought about it. She was sure that the way he spoke to her meant more than what had happened right at that moment. She probably made a hell of an impression on him during the benefit. She was sure that Georgia could have had him if she wanted to. And again she wished she was more like her, or at least closer friends with her. It was always better to be on Georgia’s side, but unfortunately, no one ever really was.